There has been a lot of talk as of late regarding the abortion industry, and many fruitful discussions have come forth. There have been legislative moves to reduce late term abortions, as happened recently in Texas, there have been more campaigns to educate the public on the truth of the industry, and there has been a very vocal shift in the voice for life in our country. All of these things are amazing happenings in the fight for life, but another more ‘hidden’ aspect of the industry comes to mind that hits close to home.
What came to mind was my own pregnancy. Upon learning we were pregnant again, of course we were excited, happy and very much looking forward to meeting our new little one. When our mid-term ultrasound confirmed our daughter had a very serious brain problem, of course other emotions set in. Fear. Anxiety. Even a twinge of sadness or disappointment. But that is to be expected. The happiness and love surrounding our daughter were still there – just now with a few extra things attached we hadn’t anticipated. This is when I first encountered the hidden abortion agenda.
- Looking at Meagan’s scan – and seeing all black (fluid) instead of brain tissue.
Thankfully, due in large part to communication with other families, I pretty much knew termination (the code word for abortion) would be brought up at our specialists’ appointment. So I was prepared for it (so I thought). But what I wasn’t prepared for was the persistence. The persuasiveness. The emphasis on how terrible life would be for her. When we told the specialist we were keeping our daughter, we were sent to a “meeting” with the genetic counselor. Ask me what I learned about my genetic background or that of my husband’s… and your guess would be as good as mine. Because I learned nothing. I like to refer to this meeting as the “termination meeting.” Where, once again, I got to hear from some woman who thought she knew better than I how terrible “poor little Meagan’s” life would be. For us. For our older girls.
Even though we knew our decision on life before we even found out about our daughter’s condition, it was amazing (in a disbelieving sort of way) at the way in which our daughter was suddenly reduced to a list of medical terminology. Fluid in the brain. Hydrocephalus. Developmentally delayed. Probable seizures. Possible in utero death. And I could go on. Why when we walked in to the doctor office was our baby, well, a “baby” with anticipation to find out whether that baby was a boy or girl? Even further personalizing the pregnancy and our child? But when something was found ‘wrong’ with her, why did it turn from personalizing her life to listing it on a medical chart and downplaying her humanity?
I don’t really have the full answer, as I can only speak from my experience. But I truly believe after going through this with our daughter, and hearing countless other stories of mothers in a similar situation as I found myself in, that this is the true hidden corner of the abortion industry. We know about the early abortions. We know about the convenience abortions. We know about the forced or coerced abortions. We know all of these aspects of abortion have so tactfully been painted with flowery language and new age feminism….but abortion for medical reasons has taken this guise to a whole new level.
Once a child is found to have a problem, or a condition, or a disease or deformity, it becomes very easy to disguise the talk of abortion with devastating medical lingo. Finding out about a child with needs is a highly emotional time for most parents, and for some these emotions unfortunately play into their decision to terminate their child’s life. They are sold lies of despair, discouragement, and often confusion. I remember distinctly going home and Googling every term I had heard in my appointment. Even though I knew our daughter was ours no matter what, I spent hours upon hours reading, worrying and obsessing over every medical term the doctor had thrown at us. Even in my steadfastness for life, my mind was still distracted by the multitude of new terminology I had heard in one sitting. The more I look back now, the more I realize that her personhood was slowly stripped away in that one appointment. My daughter was reduced to a rambling of medical jargon. Her life was disregarded, categorized, and put on trial all within the constraints of an hour.
Close your eyes. Picture a child in your head. She is about 2 years old..brown hair…hazel eyes. But also know she has congential hydrocephalus, angenesis of the corpus collosum, absent septum pellucidum, partial seizures, absence seizures, Chiari malformation, inguinal hernia, craniosynostosis, vision issues, failure to thrive, has a g-tube, cannot walk, cannot crawl, and is just learning to sit on her own. She has had 10 hospital stays and 5 surgeries, 3 of which were brain surgeries. What does your picture look like? Now open your eyes and see her for yourself.
I hope my story can touch at least one person – and help them through that trying time of finding out the child they expect isn’t exactly what situation they expect. It’s ok to take in the medical knowledge. It is important for us – so we know all we can and learn everything possible to become their greatest advocates. But – be careful to not get lost in those terms. The winding path of medical diagnoses is only a path that will lead us to confusion and despair. If we focus on that, there is no hope, but our children are the hope of the world. God gives us children to look to the future. We have to hold on to that hope for these special children. No matter what labels are attached to them, they are still God’s gifts to us. We can’t let a list of words form a false picture that clouds the beauty of the true portrait. We need to not let them get lost in the new culture of death that is presented to us in the guise of medical jargon. We need to not let our labels define our children – but let our children instead show us who they are meant to be. We need to remember more than any label, the most important one is that they are made in the image of God – and with Him, no trial is impossible.
Twenty nine years ago my child was born at 24 weeks. We were also told of all the things that would be wrong with her, that it was better to let her go etc. etc. etc. She is handicapped but not near to the extent they assumed she would be. The blessings she has brought to our home is beyond anything I (or her doctors) could ever had anticipated. God is good no matter what!
Thank you for shedding light on this hidden corner of the abortion industry. It is so scary what medical professionals can do in talking parents into killing their own children all under the guise of “better for the child.” Death is never better for anyone! Thank you for being such a strong example of the beauty of life. You are such a blessing to your daughter and I know she is a tremendous blessing to you and your family and everyone she encounters!!
Bravo Molly for shining the spotlight on the unspoken horror that is abortion in all its forms but in particular in this medical context, when abortion is peddled as a “solution” to a “medical problem” by those trusted professionals who took the Hippocratic Oath to protect life. Shame on them!!!!!!!!!!!
When we place our trust in our physicians and nurses, that is something that they are not supposed to take lightly. Instead, they break that trust when they play God and put a value (or they strip the value) on every human life they encounter.
When we moved to Georgia, I got pregnant shortly thereafter with our 2nd child Joshua. At my regular visits to the OB-GYN near Northside Hospital, I was constantly reminded that b/c I was over 35 I was considered a high risk pregnancy. One female doctor came in for one of my check ups and was very visibly upset and frustrated with me that I declined one of the blood tests to check for “defects” in our growing baby inside the womb. I told her that we are having this baby no matter what so at that stage I did not want an amnio or any other “test” done like that, blood or any other. She looked my right in the eye with a nasty expression and snapped back at me, “It’s not for you, it’s for US.” Really????????? Are YOU going to raise this child and get up at night with them when they cry and are hungry, etc. Are you going to pay for their college?????????????
That tells you how much disdain these medical professionals have for those who truly chose life from the get go. And this fight was on from the time I walked in their office, they push their “termination” agenda the moment you walk in, testing, probing, just waiting to POUNCE once a test shows some irregularity. I’ve had friends who have been told, your baby has X, Y, Z problems and will not live a “normal” life, will be $X amount of financial burden, and on and on. The docs put the fear not of God but of Satan (b/c fear does not come from God) into the person, they decided not to terminate and their babies were born physically and mentally healthy.
Keep speaking out on this atrocity Molly because it happens to just about every woman in every pregnancy at some point. Let’s keep shining the light in this dark, hidden place in our doctor’s offices and hospitals all across the country.
When we embrace life, we conquer the culture of death.
Oh, as if I did not comment enough above, but you know what else I realized, the docs do all of this “termination” pressure talk b/c they are SCARED TO DEATH OF LIABILITY. I want to research more into this and frankly I don’t know a lot about it, but I honestly in my gut feel that many doctors misdiagnose babies in the womb as having some kind of handicapping medical condition b/c they would rather do that than face the fact of being sued for NOT advising of a condition and giving the women the “choice” to terminate.
I am so sure this is done for financial and legal reasons, for fear of malpractice b/c it is much harder to bring any kind of suit for wrongful termination of the baby than it is to bring a suit if the baby is born with a defect and the doctors did not advise of the “right” to “terminate”. That unfortunately is the sick mindset of our culture and our medical and legal profession.
I’m looking into the legal issues here and will post more on this great blog in the near future.
Thank you so much for your testimony. You never know whose life you will touch by that, and your daughter is a living witness.
Did you know that in a lot of medical schools/advanced practice nursing schools, the students are REQUIRED to offer abortion as an alternative when talking to patients? That if they don’t offer it during their training when talking to a woman with these diagnoses, they can fail that part of the course? There are no conscience rights in a lot of programs? Of course, when they graduate and are practicing on their own, they have more lee way, but still…
God bless!
My son is a moderately functioning classical autistic person. He is 10 years old. While life has been challenging for us, he functions well and is a blessing to those who know him. He is incredibly loving and has a pure, joyous spirit.
I also have absolutely no doubt that if there were a way to test and figure out that he was going to be autistic, it would not only be encouraged, but most parents carrying children like him would abort. That hurts my heart so much because I know what these children have to give the world.
.
I hate to think what will happen once the Affordable Care Act gets into full swing. Doctors / practices / clinics will be forcing even more of these terminations.
Excellent! This testimony is sure to go far in spotlighting the personhood of those children who would be so casually thrown away as medical terms, rather than being (rightfully) acknowledged as God’s precious children. It seems certain that you and your story have made a difference in many lives – and will continue to do so. God bless you for living the pro-life teachings of Holy Mother Church for all to see. I’ve shared this one far and wide!
I experienced this with my last pregnancy as well. It was my first advanced maternal age pregnancy, and they made it sound like because I was now “high risk” I would require more testing. Appointments were made with a group of high risk OB-GYNs for scans and bloodwork at 12 weeks, and I now realize that it was because if any abnormalities were found, I would have the choice to “terminate” as early as possible. It was subtle, but it was there, non the less. When talking to the genetic counsellor, she first referred to my child as a baby, but quickly corrected herself and called him a fetus. The nurse who did the scan also referred to my son as a fetus, and wasn’t the warm fuzzy nurse I was used to. When I expresses awe over the humanness of my tiny child, she didn’t seem at all moved. It was all very clinical and cold. No issues were found at the time, but I can easily see how they were all set up for the “termination talk” if they had found anything. The whole visit was unsettling, and, if we are blessed with another child, I will not follow through with this appointment.
I just read this (again, for me) to some of my kids and my 16 year old cowboy son perked up. “We have kids like this all the time. Get her on a horse.” He works with equine therapy up here!