I moved across the country in December 2011 and have had a very difficult time making friends. To those who know me this seems laughable. How could I possibly have trouble making friends? I can get a brick wall to open up and chat. Well, I moved to New England where the locals are not known for their warm welcoming ways. I had one friend waiting for me. We’d met through an online mom’s group. The lovely Jeanne is also one of the Inkslingers here at Catholic Sistas. We lived an hour apart and saw each other every 4-6 weeks.
In that time period I was very lonely. I was beginning my life as a stay-at-home-wife/soon to be mother. I prayed for friends. Since then I’ve made some big leaps in the friend department, moved considerably closer to Jeanne and have come to realize that the year of ‘fasting’ has made me appreciate my need for a social life much more keenly.
When we left Indiana, we left behind a vibrant community of young catholic families. Moms and kids got together on a weekly basis to pray the rosary and play, moms (and nursing babies) got together every other week for a book club or just a night of socializing. We also had regular family events: an Epiphany party, All Saints Day Celebration. We arrived in Massachusetts to find very few catholic families in the pews and – within a month of arriving – a positive pregnancy test.
I took a good look at what was available and sought out opportunities to spend time with other adults. I started with a sewing class. I met my second friend in that class and it was a moment of Divine Providence for she too is catholic!
Having secured two solid friendships, I became emboldened in my search for community. Whenever I would meet another mom I would offer or request contact information. I have yet to have anyone refuse and say they’d rather not spend time with me. I’ve met women at parish picnics, on-line, at La Leche League meetings (especially helpful for a nursing mama) and at coffee hours/potlucks to name a few.
Most recently, I met another mom who has two little girls, the second of whom is 4 days older than my little boy. I asked her if she wanted to exchange contact info and she lit up like a Christmas tree. We’ve bonded over lack of sleep, a desire to homeschool, love of traditional food preparation (ever made homemade sauerkraut?) and shared faith.
I recently decided I would try and bring these varied friendships together. I’m planning on hosting an evening once a month for moms and nurslings where we can visit, socialize and enjoy some grown-up times. My husband suggested we also plan on having a Saturday each month with the families where we have a potluck meal and play games. I can’t wait to see what comes next!
It is much easier to be joyful on my journey when I can share it with kindred spirits.
Do you have a good community of friendship and support? If not, don’t hesitate to extend an offer a friendship. You never know when you might be the answer to someone’s prayer for friends!
Hannah is a cradle Catholic who happens to be most at home in the kitchen. She’s been married three years, but has only just started her job as a stay-at-home-wife and is investing her time in learning to sew and improving her housekeeping skills. She is the mother of two, Rita in Heaven and Edmund on Earth. She’s also an import to the States – originally from Canada – and she doesn’t miss the snow.