Alright Sistas! Let’s talk about contraception and theology.
People opine a lot that someday there can be a development of doctrine that will permit the practice of contraception, but they don’t understand the reason why contraception can never be permitted. Catholic moral laws are most fundamentally rooted in love. That is probably the single most misunderstood part of moral theology. It’s about love.
A marriage, man and woman united as one, is the most 1) fundamental and 2) intimate social unit. Scripture describes how the Father, the First Person of the Trinity, conceives the Word and begets the Son, the Second Person of the Trinity, gives all of Himself to the Son except to be Father. Did you catch the eternal fecundity in God, conceiving and begetting?
From the Father and the Son together – as one substance – breaths forth the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity, the Holy Spirit, which is Love Himself. In God there is perfect unity, perfect giving, perfect receiving, perfect love between three Persons, so much so that they are One God.
Families are a reflection of that perfection.
Anything that compromises the openness to communication and personified love for each other and for children cannot, therefore, be permissible. What is revealed by God is infallible, and Jesus Christ, God Incarnate, said that loving God and your neighbor is the basis of the whole law.
“You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to this: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments depends the whole law and the prophets.” Matthew 22: 37-40
Father Benedict Ashley O.P. addresses contraception in his book, “Living the Truth in Love” and says that contraception, just as anything else that degrades the sexual act to an act only for recreation, “depersonalizes love.” (221-222) It is intrinsically immoral to render the beautiful and loving gift of the sexual act between a husband and a wife sterile by mechanical, surgical, or chemical means in order to merely obtain for one’s self sexual pleasure unrelated to procreation. That is what we call selfishness. Ahem, selfishness is a vice, and vices do not lead to real happiness.
This wonderful, loving truth is what makes the nasty demons roar their ugly lies. Why? Because the destruction of the family is Satan’s most effective weapon. Break families and you break people, then you break society. God made us to belong, to be loved, to be known – and we are desperate without it. Satan is against love and unity, a cosmic war on the family.
Therefore, if a doctrine developed that permitted contraception, it would be a doctrine that directly contradicted the very basis of the entire moral law from God for how man is to live and find happiness, and for how man is to achieve an eternal life of bliss. Doctrine cannot contradict the infallible revelations of God. God is Love. God is Unity. God perfectly communicates Love.
God is not, “Come here baby and let me hold you and use you, but first I need to medicate myself against you or wrap myself up in plastic so I don’t really touch you because you might do something to me that is unplanned.”
However, it should be noted that it is permissible to know and communicate the natural cycles of the body between married couples, and to choose to abstain from the procreative act during fertile periods, so long as the couple does not completely become closed to raising a family in love.
OK, bring it home then.
When I see my husband, the love of my life, stare at our baby boy as if he would pour all of himself into that child if only it were somehow mystically possible, and when I even begin to think of the damage it would do to that child were our sacred marital bond ever broken, I understand the Blessed Trinity, One God as three Persons, a little better and I am lifted Heavenward.
Contraception robs you of that.
“The thief comes not, but for to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
Two questions/comments.
1. The teachings seem to really elevate marriage/procreation(fecundity), man and woman, etc. Where does that leave the Priest or the Religious who are celibate/chaste who do not beget children?
2. How about the married chaste couple who can’t have children or can for that matter who want to be chaste – How does that fit in with the teachings as you understand it?
Stacy and Richard,
Thank you for your replies.
The practice of chastity is not just for the single, although it would seem to be unusual for married couples to remain chaste and stay together, although the absence of examples in your replies especially Richards does not prove my statement.
My wife and I are unable to have children and are living a chaste life (we are also “middle aged”) and I feel the closest I have ever been to my wife. I suspect in our sex hyped up world without “consequences” (i.e. a contraceptive mentality) might find our relationship rather strange … but it seems perfectly natural or maybe with a touch of Grace thrown in.
I think my concern about topics regarding marriage and contraception often lack chastity and purity of heart “topics” which seem to me to have a deep resonance with the idea of “friendship” and being a friend in Christ.
And it seems that maybe couples who are “done” with the child begetting thing might consider the chaste life as part of their marriage in the “later” years.
I don’t know maybe I am naive but again my relationship with my wife as a friend seems so very Christ like …
Dave,
I see what you are saying. This is my understanding of what you described – you are not *contracepting* since you are not sterilizing a sexual act so that it is only for recreation. You chose to live chastely but in doing so you are not also closing yourself to children. You should talk to a priest to be sure, but from what I understand there’s nothing wrong with that at all because you are not choosing to close yourself to life.
“Being open to life” I think, also means a lot more than just engaging in the sexual act. It could also mean that you accept and use whatever gifts God gives you – like caring for an elderly parent, or adopting, or caring for the poor, or serving your community, or even caring for each other.
Richard?
Thanks Dave! Remember, I am not an authority, I’m only a student (and I imagine I will be for the rest of my life!)
Blessings,
Stacy
You certainly seem to write from the heart and I am not being obtuse to say that I just couldn’t disagree with you and your interpretations more. This is one of the main reasons why we’ve left the church.
C,
Thank you for your honesty. Could you be more specific if you want to discuss it?
It would help me to know what part of this teaching caused you to leave the Church. I’m curious.
Thanks,
Stacy
Stacy and Richard,
Oh this is fantastic! I “felt” this was right but didn’t have the words, examples, or St. Augustine’s words. I think it is very important in today’s “broken” society (has there ever not been a broken society?) that for those of us who do not fit the “norm” recognize the place we have in the Church and live that in and with Christ.
Thank you and God bless!
Dave and Richard,
Wow!
That information Richard offered is pretty amazing! Richard, how did you know just what to say??? Oh yeah, that last sentence explains it all. You are awesome! Thank you.
In Christ,
Stacy
David, I’m just glad I was able to help. I knew the Church had some teachings toward being married and leading a chaste life, and the quote from Saint Augustine just fit. I remember reading one of the Saints and they said ‘keep your eyes on Mary’, I realize now that Mary and Saint Joseph are the perfect couple to look at.
Stacy, don’t know about the ‘awesome!” When I did my searching for info on this I came across an Encyclical from Pope Pius XI on ‘Chaste Marriage’ that I’m going to read, it was written back in 1930. I think it is still revelant to us today in living holy lives.
Beautiful layout of this subject! I really do think that if more people understood the wholly positive YES of conjugal love that we’re called to, they would more easily understand and accept the NO of contraception. You are so right in saying that this teaching is about love!
Stacy, this is incredibly insightful. My deepest appreciation for it.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to send this link to another blogger who is struggling with an offshoot of this.
A lot of the commentors who were beating her down should be directed to read this.
I’d like to link some of Richard’s commentary as well, but I don’t really know how to do that, so hopefully they read these comments.
Wish more people like you abounded in the blogosphere.
The blog entry I’ll be linking to will be below in case you wanted to follow people who comment upon reading it. It’s called “My Darkest Secret” and it deals with her struggles with contraception.
http://www.mybrokenfiat.com/1/post/2012/04/my-darkest-secret.html
She and her family need lots of prayers, but more importantly, good direction. This link of yours is a good start.
Margaret, THANK YOU! If you want to quote Richard, I’m sure he won’t mind. I will keep them in prayer. Thanks for spreading the Good News! Realizing this changed my life. Glad to share!
Margaret, feel free to quote what I shared, and I’m going to check the link to the other blog you provided.
Richard
I never could quite understand how Catholics, Any religious group, Jewish folks, in specific, (not to mention the rest of us) voting for Democrats – Do folks not understand the Demos kill our liberties, the ones that give all of us the freedom to Choose which church, how to live in our families, etc.? Democrats have lead the poorest cities, states for decades. They have created race division – entitlement mentality, and much more.
Am sad folks dont see that so often. Thing that was also part of why the tea party started. Just folks wanting fiscal responsibility, less taxes, less government, stronger national security! If we dont have that we dont have a nation left to preserve the liberties we cherish! Gammy Sparkles here!
Stacy, thanks for writing this. Contraception is such a complicated and very misunderstood topic, and you’re absolutely right – Satan is tearing down society one broken family at a time. I’ve been swirling around trying to think of ways to explain this to others. No need, as you’ve done it for me. 🙂 Well done.