Spiritual Do-Over

He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

What a day!  It started off “normal” – the usual rush of seven people eating breakfast and four making lunch.  Then it all exploded.  Right before it was time to leave for school, of course.  One daughter had put together the snacks and had picked the “wrong” Goldfish.  Serious meltdown.  I am not proud to say I did not handle it well.  The end result?  My son trying to read the daily readings over the crying and carrying on (the girls and me – ugh).  We got everyone calmed down and off to school, late.

I got home in an awful funk.  God has blessed us with five wonderful children on earth.  I believe one of my primary jobs as a parent is to lead them to Him, to help guide them to know and grow in God’s love, and I believe that the main way to do that is by my actions – and my reactions.  My reactions were screaming anything but God’s love this morning.  I felt like such a failure, like there was no way God had actually intended ME to raise these children.  I’m so far from perfect.  I mess up too much.  Through my ranting (at myself), I started to realize God isn’t feeding me these thoughts.  He loves me too much to ever stop loving me.  Then the Bible verse came to mind, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

He had my attention.  So I began to pray for a “do-over.”  Obviously, I couldn’t go get my children from school, but I could pray for them, that God would be close to them throughout their days.  I could pray that my husband’s day at work would be productive and positive.  I could focus on my devotions and prayer life as my day continued.  As I did, I began to feel a peace invade my soul, the joy of the Lord and knowing Him come back.

I’d like to say this peace continued throughout the day.  On and off, focusing on the small parts, it has.  Of course, we’ve had the after-school homework, chores, and activity craziness.  But as I started to feel the frustration of too much to do bubbling to the surface, I said a quick prayer, stopped typing, packed up the whole bunch and headed to the park to play for a while (hey, how many times can you do THAT in the Midwest in the winter???).  It worked!  As I was bouncing on the springy thing with my four girls, I realized that there was a do-over for the day.  It started by admitting that I am weak in the Lord and need His grace in each and every moment of my day.  It continued by asking for God’s forgiveness for my reactions this morning and asking for my children’s forgiveness.  Now, this evening as we sit down for dinner, we will ask the Lord again for His grace and guidance as we discuss as a family how to make mornings go more smoothly.  I will truly take the verse the Lord put into my heart and live it – all of it.  I am not able to bring these children to Him on my own.  He is here with us each and every step of the way.  All we need to do is recognize His presence in these moments – even the crazy ones!  Praise the Lord!

Thank You, Lord, for being with us each and every moment of each and every day.  Please help us to realize that when You feel far away, it is not You who has moved but us. Thank You for giving us unlimited spiritual do-overs as long as we continue to admit our failings and ask again for Your forgiveness and grace.   Help us to pull closer to You so that Your power may be made perfect in our weakness.  I ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen


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