In January, I wrote about my struggles with same-sex attraction (SSA), while living out my vocation as a Catholic wife and mother. The article was picked up by several Catholic websites and secular blogs. I wrote the article anonymously and considering the vitriol of the comments that followed, I’m glad I did. Especially after reading one man’s enraged, sentence-by-sentence dissection of the piece on a site called Facepunch.
There seemed to be three main objections to my testimony:
1. I’m not a “real” lesbian so I shouldn’t be calling myself one;
2. I’m living a false, inauthentic life that’s unfair to my husband and children and that’s bound to self-destruct; and
3. I’m harming people who struggle with SSA by suggesting they can overcome their sexual orientation.
I was struck by how important labels are to people. At times, multiple commenters were arguing over whether I was lesbian, bisexual, or straight. Some claimed I was never a lesbian (despite living as one) or that I hadn’t been with a woman long enough. Which begs the question–how long does one have to have to engage in homosexual acts before it’s acceptable to be called gay or lesbian? Because apparently, three years is not enough.
I’ll admit I titled the article “Confessions of a Recovering Lesbian” to get it in front of those who wouldn’t be interested in reading one titled, “Embracing Catholic Chastity.” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there really isn’t a label that fits a person like me. I’m not attracted to men, so I’m not heterosexual or bisexual. I’m not living out my attraction to women, so I’m not a lesbian. What’s most accurate is to say that I’m attracted to women, but I’m most attracted to one man–my husband. And that the emotional, spiritual, and physical bond I have with him entirely eclipses the attraction to people of either sex. Is there a label that encompasses all that? I think so: married.
But even if detractors couldn’t agree on what to call me, they at least agreed I’m a fraud. The people willing to let me call myself a lesbian insisted I was just stifling my “real” self, which would inevitably emerge when I encountered “the next Nora.” Though we live in a culture that celebrates girl-on-girl pornography and threesomes, my poor husband is an object of pity because I’m attracted to women. No one wanted to consider what kind of amazing man it would take to inspire such loyalty in a woman.
I think my biggest mistake was stating I struggle with SSA “on a daily basis.” This gave the impression my waking hours are consumed by the struggle to desire my husband and not to desire sexual union with a woman, which is simply not true. I’m a mother of nearly half-dozen children; like most women in that situation, most of my life is consumed by how I will be meeting the needs of my family, not how I can fulfill my sexual desires.
Most of the time, my SSA isn’t an issue because I’m spiritually fulfilled by God and intellectually, physically, and mentally fulfilled by my husband. But there are times, as I said, when I’m struggling to get “in the mood” (and show me a woman—lesbian or otherwise, who doesn’t) and it’s those times when I’m most vulnerable to the thoughts and images I know will get the job done. Just as straight people are vulnerable to infidelity when their marriage is floundering, I’m vulnerable to thinking about the easy camaraderie of a woman when I feel emotionally estranged from my husband due to a fight or just the daily grind of life.
People who interpret these temptations as evidence I’m suppressing my true self have an immature understanding of what love—especially married love—actually is. It’s true that love is often sparked by a sexual attraction, and ours was no exception. But love is ultimately expressed in action, not in feelings. I watched Titanic along with everyone else, but all I could think about was how what Rose and Jack had was infatuation, not love. Love is making dinner and doing laundry after a full day at work because your wife is puking her guts out from morning sickness. Love is sacrificing time to yourself so your husband can go on a retreat to get closer to the Lord. Love is wiping the vomit off your terminally-ill wife’s aged face…changing your comatose husband’s adult diapers…caring for her even after she has forgotten who you are. Love is the Cross.
I’m human and I struggle with temptation at times; who doesn’t? But I also accept that the Church speaks with the voice of Christ, so I accept that my homosexual desires are disordered and ought not to be indulged. I’m not especially disciplined or faithful, but I have an unshakeable trust that God will provide all the graces I need to resist SSA and build a happy, fulfilling marriage. Marriage and family life are the means by which God has chosen to sanctify me, with SSA just one of many afflictions He’s trying to rout from my soul. And not even the worst one, at that.
Which brings me to the third criticism readers of my testimony had: that by sharing that I’m happily married, I’m proposing marriage as an effective “cure” for SSA. I wasn’t and I’m not. Marriage is a call to lifelong union, not a “treatment,” and it’s not the answer for every person who struggles with SSA. One of the things I love about Catholicism is that it admits to multiple paths to holiness, or vocations. For people who have a deep revulsion to being intimate with the opposite sex, marriage is almost certainly not their vocation. But we are all called to a vocation; whether that’s marriage, religious life, or the single life is something only the person can answer through prayerful discernment.
Can a person be “cured” of SSA? Yes, sometimes. And sometimes not. Homosexuality is a complex pathology that has biological, psychological, and spiritual causes and only God knows the full extent of why and how a person experiences SSA. And only God knows why He calls some of us to greater holiness through marriage, while others are called to holiness in religious communities or as a single person within the world. To those who claim it’s cruel to deny those with SSA the joy of physical union, I can only point out that the Church does not force anyone into a life of chastity.
It’s rare to find a person today that isn’t broken in some aspect of his or her sexuality. But to be healed, we must first admit we’re sick. Most people, even most Catholics, are unwilling to admit that SSA is a disorder in the first place. In the past, those who suffered this affliction were victims of prejudice and violence. Now our sins are celebrated as an expression of our deepest selves. Few know how to offer the truth in love, as Jesus did. If Our Lord were with us today, we’d almost certainly find him in the gay bars—healing those willing to admit they need Him, with a final, gentle call to “go and sin no more.”
Simple as that.
Apologies on behalf of even Catholics who prompted you to expend yourself restating the obvious. Stories like yours happen many hundreds of times more often than money and its propaganda arms allow to be told.
It’s distressing that common knowledge barely 40 years ago and unquestioned for 2000 years should have such enmity directed towards it. Eerie times.
God bless.
We all have desires and wants that we cannot act on. The challenge in life is to realize what we have to overcome and to pray for the strength to do it. God did not create us to give in to every impulse or compulsion we feel. For some of us, that may be overeating or partaking in other unhealthy activities; for some, it is struggles such as you are facing. However, we live in a society that tells us, “If it feels good, do it” and “You can do what you want as long as no one gets hurt”.
As a married Catholic mom, I can relate to the situations you describe – barely having time to think about yourself and knowing that love is something much more than just physical intimacy. I applaud your choice – you have definitely shown a lot of courage in making that choice and speaking out about it.
I didnt knw there were other wmen like me. I am abslutely unnatracted t men. That is, apart frm my husband. I struggle all the time with sinful thoughts, and I really thught I was one of the nly nes that felt like this. Ive never shared it with anyne because when I did, I was called dwn fr being an idiot fr nt living my `true life`. Thank yu fr this article, it is truly inspiring t me.
Just to clarify something. Homosexual desires are not a disorder. They are temptations. The disorder is the homosexual act because that is a grave sin.
I know some people who are homosexuals. But, they don’t participate in the act and that is a very heavy cross for them to carry. God bless them and God bless you!!!
Hey! Me, too! (Except I have only two children right now.)
I have always said I like women in general and one man in particular. Thanks for talking about this!
That was beautiful. Thank you for your courage.
I am fortunate to have read both your articles.
Bill
Thank you for sharing!!!
As the mom of six girls …two who have lived in ssa relationships I applaud your honesty…We sell the Lord short when we think He cannot help us live a life fully even if the temptations remain…One of my daughters is now happly married ith three great children …my second daughter has chosen to live her life a a lesbian …We love her very much but don’t agree with her choice of lifestyles….I pray everyday that a good man will come into her life and show her that it is possible to live with ssa and also have the love of a good man…You have given me hope wher there was none….
An fine post.
More of these type of posts are needed for those struggling with their same-sex attraction (SSA).
Yes, we all have our struggles, but those with SSA are stygmatized, especially the ones trying to lead holy lives living their Catholic faith.
These kind of posts help those and provide a needed forum for spiritual and personal growth.
Keep up the great work our guest poster!
Thank you for this. As a faithful Catholic man, single, who struggles with SSA I admire your commitment to the Church’s teachings. I don’t know that I could marry a woman, given my emerging SSA and thus will likely remain celibate, but your ability to transcend your SSA is wholly admirable.
Wow!
God bless you, your husband and your family always.
Thank you. Just thank you. I am living the life you write about – unfortunately, I made the mistake of one time confessing this to my husband and he now holds it over me any time we argue or especially if, as you say, I’m “not in the mood.” I thought I was alone. I’m off to find the first article you reference.
I am incredibly saddened to hear about the response to your article which I found courageous, moving and inspirational. The world is so keen to make people fit ‘labels’ instead of seeing us as we all are, flawed and tempted children of God, each of whom is unique. Our purpose is to know, love and serve Him in this world and be happy with Him in the next. Pray for me as i will be praying for you.
Thanks for sharing. Beautiful
NOONEKNOWS: The direct link to our guest’s first post can be found in the first sentence of this article.
Thanks for catching that! 🙂
Thank you for this and your earlier posts. You are doing a very brave thing. If we all spent more time talking about how we fight temptations and less time raging about the sins of others, we might just get to the root point of that whole plank-speck-of-dust-thing. I’ve meddled with occultism, SSA, and other horrible sins before my reversion. I thank you for your honesty and tenderness. May God grant us all the grace to lead others from sin and into the true light of God’s graceful forgiveness.
Excellent! Very well written.
I had read that post when it was posted. It is important for people of Faith to speak out when appropriate online as it forms a vital source of encouragement and public witness.
The modern carnal society praises indulgence, not restraint. They will praise dieting for the sake of physical appearance, working for more money or some other material goal, etc, but fasting and abstinence for the sake of mortification of the flesh, celibacy, restraint from mindlessly indulging any passion of the flesh, etc are reviled simply because they are truly seen as against what they think is “good”, therefore they are evil and disordered.
Promiscuity, especially for those with disordered drives, is praised by this world because it is a validation of what they worship. Any person who does not give into the flesh is a threat to their mental blocking of truth. If they can see a person live in chastity, it threatens their justification that their activities are inevitable and good because it satisfies a desire.
It is sad that they cannot see the difference between a desire and attempting to fulfill that desire.
Thank you for courageously sharing your struggles. Your story gives me hope that we can all live by God’s grace with ongoing temptation despite what the world tells us. Your sharing will hopefully help others persevere too. Today, I think we deperately need examples of saints and holy people who struggled similarly with SSA and sexual sins. Blessings to you and your family.
I have read both your articles and am very impressed(inspired?) by how you are living your life. So often I see catholics and other Christians pick and choose what “applies” to them from their faith. Living your life true to the Catholic faith means something when you accept ALL the beliefs and yes it means most people will have to struggle with something or things. Wish there were more people like you who put so much into faith, it is not easy or convienent at times but worth it.
God bless you with your daily cross. You did the right tghing by writing and living a good Christian life.
More power to you!
Hey Sista,
I wonder how many of us there are out there? I’m SSA, married, with six kids, and I have a blog about it for anyone who’s interested. I’d definitely like to here from you, because it can get lonely being the queer fish in the Catholic homeschool pond… 🙂
Melinda Selmys
Fantastic piece. I wish so many more Catholics had the understanding of marriage, SSA, vocations, and the Church that you have. As someone who also struggles with the occasional strong temptations to sexual sin, it’s a wonderful relief to hear anyone acknowledge Church teachings, and to point out that it is precisely sinners who need Christ, who is the cure to all our ills. God bless you in living your life and your beautiful vocation.
It’s amazing having people telling you that you are living false life!
I see your life lived in truth – not lying to yourself about your feelings, and embracing them the way Christ embraced His Holy Cross. It is more true life than those who are straight, cheating on their wives, and calling it okay because they don’t see anything wrong in it. You are alive in your struggle, and they are dead in their blindness…
God bless you!
Read Leanne Payne´s book the Healing Presence and Restoring the Christian Soul or Crisis in Masculinity they are brilliant. Hers is the only sane explanation of the roots of SSA, its effects on the persons involved and the effiicacy of Jesus Christ´s Healing Presence. I LOVE our Catholic Faith but our church isn´t so good on helping us to understand the complexities of SSA at all. I asked god to help me understand what it is all about and hers was the books I was presented with.
He knows all about it and how to deal with it..He is not afraid to get down there with you and lead you through it to Peace. By the way in answer to your comment ´if Jesus was with us here today´-reminder, HE REALLY IS. But do we believe in his healing power enough? I do now. SSA is a burden and there are some burdens that Jesus does not want his children to have. Ask Him!
God Bless you, you are a courageous woman.
I’m a gay man living in a celibate relationship with another gay man–yes, it can be done.
We are simply trying to live as we feel God wishes us to.
Dear soul, you don’t get to choose your temptations. Don’t worry about it.
Do you love Jesus and your husband and children–in that order?
Are you trying to please them?
Then that’s all that matters.
Pax tecum. May we all be so selfless in our marriages, as Christ is with His Bride, Holy Mother Church.
Its brave of u to share. You chose to go against ur given sexual attraction/ orientation. I’m gay and I tried this. You can love and settle …I learned I could do it, then due to other factors–unequally yoked–I am back to being true to myself oh and GAY.I met a wonderful woman. Lol…she’s everything I ever could have dreamed and more! Thank God!
i struggled for years with my catholic families condemnation but realized all anyone wants is to be loved. With Gods grace my heart was healed and I now again love and forgive my family and do not live in shame. I am gay. I love God and I know I’m not broken, carrying a cross or needing healing. Those words were a form of spiritual abuse used against me before, not anymore. My story is different and beautiful too…God healed my heart….I live His will for my life! Note I respect alternative opinions but my journey gave me this one! It took years to get here!
Congrats on all the kids! That’s awesome! I love children! My dream is to be a mom. I appreciate ur story and wish u every grace for being beautiful and bringing glory to God in all u do!
Pasisozi,
I commend you on having the self-mastery to be celibate despite experiencing SSA. What wasn’t clear is whether you live with a man you are attracted to or just a roommate…? Either way, as Catholics, we call this “a near occasion of sin.” Because I’m married, I don’t cultivate friendships with other men or gay women, because I know that could very likely lead to temptation for me, which would make it easier to succumb to sin.
I loved the book “Beyond Gay,” because the author had this same idea: that he could live celibately with his gay partner and still honor his newfound faith. He found that such an arrangement was in no way spiritually edifying to him and it was grossly unfair to the other person, too. He ultimately understood that he was called to chastity, not just celibacy. Chastity is the right ordering of our sexuality. We’re blessed as Catholics that we know the single life is as true a vocation as married or religious, that some of us are called to live as witnesses in the world that the Holy Spirit really can generate the fruit of “self-control” in us, along with all the other beautiful virtues. I do tend to think that many of those who suffer from SSA are called to a beautiful, intimate union with God–a union that I, as a married woman with children, simply am not capable of having as long as my responsibilities to people are so intense. It’s very much like living as a religious–you are given a Cross that from the world’s perspective, appears to deprive you of the greatest of human intimacies, yet that Cross is in fact what makes you able to commune with God most intimately ~in this life~. Chastity is so much more than celibacy…and when you live chastity out, offering yourself body and soul to God as a single person, you gain a foretaste on earth of the union the rest of us must wait until heaven to enjoy.
This is for N. I appreciate that you wrote, but I wholeheartedly disagree that the truth your Catholic family offered you was a form of “spiritual abuse.” I have no idea whether they offered you that truth in love or not, but I hope they did.
I think the difference is that I accept that the Church speaks with the voice of Christ, so I obey the teaching of the Church as I would obey Christ himself. I started out as an atheist. I found that all the major world religions–Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Protestantism–all of them have endless splintering, competing sects, all based on a person or group’s opinion or interpretation. Only Catholicism’s teachings have remained consistent since its founding 2,000 years ago. Given how badly human beings muck up everything they touch, as well as how scandalously sinful some of the leaders/popes of the Catholic Church were, the fact that the teachings have never changed suggested to me there was something more going on than just a bunch of old white guys holding fast to oppressive rules through two millennia.
I also believed that if God did establish a church on earth, there would be signs that pointed to that church as having divine authority. And there are: they are called miracles. Such as the ones at Lourdes, like the blind woman with a withered optic nerve who had her sight restored as the Eucharist passed her by, with tests showing her optic nerve was still withered. Such as the woman who was cured overnight of stage 4 stomach cancer after praying to Father Damien of Molokai for his intercession–a case which is documented in the Hawaiian Medical Journal. There are many, many others. My point is simply that God points a big neon sign to the institution He gave us to guide us spiritually–but when those teachings interfere with what ~we~ decide we want to do, when they conflict with the “truth” that WE decide we want to follow, then we ignore those signs and try to have our cake and eat it, too. We become “spiritual but not religious.” Which is just another way of saying we want to make up our own rules about moral conduct.
Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” He came not to condemn, but to save us out of love. Unfortunately, we have the world telling those of us who live with SSA–as well as just about every other deviant sexual proclivity–that if we want it, it’s right and good for us. Not everything that “feels good” physically or emotionally is good for us spiritually. That you are happy in your relationship with another woman is by no means evidence that you’re living in a way that’s pleasing to God and is helping you fulfill your spiritual potential. Most sins have pleasure attached to them; lying brings relief, gossip brings pride, infidelity brings human warmth. That’s why we indulge in sin so often, despite knowing better.
As I said, the Church does not force anyone to live a life of chastity. Neither does God. I don’t know your situation or background, so I can’t assume anything about your personal culpability, but I do know that you can’t claim to love God with your whole self while rejecting Jesus in the Eucharist, as well as the Church He gave us to help us get to heaven. I am most sad for you that you were raised Catholic and never actually developed a relationship with Our Lord in the Eucharist. Because if you did, it would be unimaginable to leave the Church, which is the only source of Jesus himself’s actual Body and Blood.
It’s great that you believe that the Church/God allows all people with SAS to pursue whichever vocation God calls them to, but you are actually sort of wrong: the Church does not allow gay men to go to seminary and become priests. Don’t believe me? http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccatheduc/documents/rc_con_ccatheduc_doc_20051104_istruzione_en.html
So, in fact, at least one of the possible vocations you have named is not possible for gay men, at least. 😉
“Religious life” encompasses much more than just being a priest–there are consecrated orders of brothers who live in community, who are not in a pastoral position.
Anonymous–I think that the main question regarding that document is what is meant by “deep-seated tendencies.” This could mean people who regularly engage in fantasies but do not try to overcome them or experience remorse for them. With the other restrictions the document lists regarding homosexual men, it seems to naturally follow that people who are actively in a life or support a life that is contrary to the teachings of the Church cannot be a priest–the same sort of restrictions that would apply to heterosexual men.
Anyway, the follow article would perhaps be of interest to you:
http://jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2005/12/deepseated_tend.html
In anycase, it could be prudent for the Vatican to provide some more clarification about what is meant here.
God bless you for your honesty and for sharing your struggles with the rest of us. We all struggle with something. I hope you can forgive the folks who don’t understand that. We’re all on the journey together. Thank you for your writing.
I appreciate your honesty and your solid apologetics of the Catholic Faith. I work with high school students and there has been little I have found to help many of them who have come to me with SSA. Please pray for them as they navigate these waters that each of them will keep focused on Christ as their guiding light and truth. If you have any resources I can use in my efforts to encourage them in fidelity to the Church as they struggle with these temptations, I would very much appreciate it.
For the record, I put my real name on everything that I do. For credibility, it’s important not to be anonymous. But I digress.
According to this polemic “Most people, even most Catholics, are unwilling to admit that SSA is a disorder in the first place. In the past, those who suffered this affliction were victims of prejudice and violence. Now our sins are celebrated as an expression of our deepest selves.”
That’s misleading. The entire medical establishment views sexual orientation as a continuum; Homosexuality and bisexuality are normal variants. The term “SSA” does not exist in the medical literature. It is a construction born of convenience and ignorance. Sexual orientation is defined as the attraction to men, women, both or neither. Being gay is hardly an “affliction.”
I am a retired CEO. My late partner and I were together for over 30 years. I have had a great career, a terrific life partner and the resources to have traveled extensively. That I happen to be gay is entirely irrelevant.
David, you assume I wrote the article anonymously because I’m either not being truthful or because I’m afraid for people to know who I am. Neither is true. The people in my life, both family and friends, know I wrote this article. Websites that have reposted it have contacted me directly. But I have children and a husband and the only way to protect their anonymity is to write anonymously. I suspect that one day, when my children are grown and my husband has retired, I will end up “coming out” publicly with my own name. But I do assure you, everything I’ve written comes from my own life, from my own experience.
I sense that you have great anger toward me for writing the article at all. Perhaps you think I’m condemning people who are gay by putting my own experience out there. In your world, you believe that there is nothing harmful about living out homosexuality. In my world, there is. I wrote the article not because I was trying to convert people who are intractably convinced of the normality of homosexual behavior, but to offer hope to those who have chosen to be Christian and need encouragement in their walk to be chaste. I’m fairly certain just as many heterosexuals as homosexuals need to know that sexual self-mastery is possible. Because they are not hearing it anywhere else.
You said “That I happen to be gay is entirely irrelevant.” That’s where we part ways. To me, my sexuality is not incidental or “irrelevant” to who I am as a person–it is integral to it. I am a woman and I have a body that was designed to receive new life, nurture it, and bring that life into the world. This ability–which is obviously expressed in and through my sexuality–is what makes me who I am and it transcends the idea of “sex.” I see that as one of the biggest problems in the gay community–it seeks to reduce what is a transcendent act that creates a new human person into something that is done simply for emotional bonding or recreational pleasure.
Of course sex is joyful, because it expresses that desire for union that is written in every human heart. But only a person who understands that his sexuality is at the core of who he is as a person will fully appreciate its power. It’s certainly not all that we are as persons, but it is the foundation for much of how we relate to the world, what our interests are, how we bond with others…in short, the entire course of our lives. I can’t think of a less apt word for the mystery of sexuality than to call it “irrelevant” to who I am.
Thank you for your courage. This article will heal.
First I wish to thank you for both of your articles! I believe you helped to save my soul. I have been searching the internet for Catholic SSA help and always only found pro SSA articles. When I found yours, I was so relieved and happy! Then I read in a comment about Courage the Roman Catholic Apostolate. I am now a member and am getting tons of support for my SSA. I also learned about NARTH and Reparative Therapy for SSA. God Bless You and Thank You SO much.
Your second article is great too.
My one concern is that it isn’t a Catholic belief that SSA is biologically determined – caused. http://www.couragerc.net/Erroneous_Assumptions.html
“Homosexuality is a complex pathology that has biological, psychological, and spiritual causes”.
God Love You and again I thank you so much for your writtings.
Mary
hi Sista
i too was touched by your articles and feel bad that people were so harsh to you. you and all of us are called to sainthood , and you are responding to Gods call to holiness like a real grownup, i also feel bad when i read all the people who felt afirmed by your article, how alone they felt. Courage is a great group for all people ,single and married who struggle with this cross and wound.
God bless you,
People were told that no one escaped from Alcatraz. Because if the word got out, it would have been a testimony to others who were imprisoned. It doesn’t surprise me that you often get attacked by other homosexuals as having never been fully “homosexual”. This would expose them to the fact that they can escape their life of sin. Love the sinner, hate the sin. I’ll remember you in my rosary.
Thank you for sharing. the piece you wrote in january filled my heart. Things just get so unnecessarily complicated and extreme, either you support gay marriage or you hate all gays. The way you put everything in perspective, using a woman guarding her purity to a man trying not to objectify women makes a lot of sense; for me its a solid building block on how to love, truly, all of those around us.
I hope one day, I too will have your compassion and understanding through the Lord.
May God bless you and your family always
It’s funny. When you go along with the ‘gay agenda’, all you need is to be attracted to a person of the same sex to count as gay or lesbian. If you think for yourself, they keep saying you are lying about being gay. Or, worse, they demand that you prove that you are gay. How, exactly, is a person supposed to do that on Facebook? Mean people can be such idiots.
Thank you for sharing your truth. As a Christian, I can so relate to your conviction to follow Christ and live a life that honors Him. You’ve said some beautiful and powerful things in this blog. May God bless and keep you in the palm of His hand!
Hi there, thank you very much for this. While I have never been in a relationship before, I struggle with SSA, and I fantasize about it, enjoy the moment then get wrecked with guilt all over, again and again. I find it obstructs me from forming healthy relationships with some females, and I haven’t been able to form any particularly close relationships with any males. I reckon my SSA is due in part of my Mum’s death when I was a teenager. It has been a struggle which I can never talk about anywhere except recently, in the confessional. And I am blessed that the Fr, with great compassion, reminded me that Jesus is with is with us in all our struggles. And no matter our sexual inclination, we are all called to live a chaste life. He said not to beat myself up emotionally when I fall time and again into the same sin, but to know God is merciful, He sees our effort in turning back to Him each time I fall. And our loving God meets me wherever I am, and is with me in my struggles & journey. I was just so overwhelmed by the grace, that I teared non-stop throughout the Mass that followed the confession.
What you said about avoiding temptation — avoid watching homosexual-themed movies, avoid times of vulnerability such as when I am tired, I should choose sleep over surfing the Net mindlessly — which inevitably will lead me to undesirable sites — are all very very true and real. I think those who struggle with this, will find your advice helpful.
May I humbly ask you and whoever is reading this for your prayers and intercession for me and all fellow individuals, male and female, who are struggling with SSA.
If you do know good materials written/endorsed by the Catholic Church that will help with this struggle, please do let us know here. Thank you very much dear all.