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Faux-In To The Chapel

He had my favorite flowers delivered with a special note that read, “Meet me outside for a surprise! I love you!” My heart was pounding, I knew this was it! I slowly opened the back door to see a path of rose petals leading to the garden, behind the shed. I wanted to run to him and yet at the same time I wanted to savor each step, remembering these few seconds forever. I turned the corner to see him surrounded by roses, kneeling down complete with a suit and tie. The combination of the scent of roses and his cologne filled the air, making me dizzy. Then he said the words, the words my heart were waiting for…..

“Will you go to prom with me?”

I had you going didn’t I?

Prom is the new wedding. Boys “promposals” can have as much thought as a marriage proposal, if not more. Girls spend more money on their over-the-top gowns than many of us ever even considered spending on our wedding dresses. Some parents don’t bat an eye at dropping hundreds if not thousands of dollars on limousines, tuxedos, gowns, dinners, hair and makeup, shoes, flowers, and on and on.
I’m not saying there is anything inherently wrong with making prom night special for your child, besides perhaps the possibility of spoiling him or her, but some might argue that is just what these special nights are for. What I am saying is that perhaps this is just one more reflection of what our secular society is accepting as a replacement for the sacrament of marriage.

Recently I watched an episode of “16 and Pregnant.” The 16-year-old, who was soon expecting, got a call from her boyfriend and on her phone it read “The Hubby.” It didn’t list his name, it didn’t say “The Boyfriend”, it said “hubby.” Now, may I also add that by the end of the episode, the couple was broken up, on terrible terms, and I’m sure her phone no longer listed him as hubby after that.

Call me crazy, but I was infuriated to see her use the title ‘hubby’ so loosely! Why should she get to use that name, when that’s what I call my husband! My husband of seven years who has been present every day, doing his best to pull my children and I up to heaven, living the full sacrament of marriage. Every day, he earns the title hubby.

In this time where cohabitation is normal, where pre-marital sex is accepted, and marriage is fought to be a right for every person and yet some cannot conform to be stifled by such commitment, is it any surprise that our children are acting as if they’re married at such a young age? I realize that these two examples are seemingly meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but they represent the overarching trend toward empty relationships.

The human soul longs for God, but too often our human condition prevents us from seeking Him. Our minds are darkened and our souls are weakened due to original sin. However, marriage is the way we imitate the trinity and bring glory to God. The holy sacrament of marriage can undeniably be a difficult vocation, but it is emotionally, physically, and spiritually fulfilling just as God intended.

No wonder then, that those without this fullness of Truth and understanding of the holy beauty of marriage grasp feebly at imitating what they think they see. People know that marriage should be what they long for, their hearts try to push them towards this bond, hence the need for promposals and marriage parodies.

Ok, ok, I’m just old-fashioned, maybe I don’t understand what these promposals are really about. These pre-proposals, they may be able to be redeemed….let me think. Perhaps if young men use this as an opportunity to practice how they will treat their future wife. If this opportunity for love is just one step on the journey to agape, then yes they do have their place. But, I’m not sold. I think the real test as to the intentions of the proposal will be revealed on prom night.

Well, I can tell you one thing, this Momma’s gonna be screening her daughters’ phone contacts if they are lucky enough to have phones, and warding off any promposals with that BB gun my hubby is storing at his parents’ house.

By Rachel M

Rachel is a stay-at-home mother to five beautiful children ages 4, 3, 2, 1, and her newest blessing, born in October. By the grace of God, she converted to Catholicism in 2004, and soon thereafter married her high school sweetheart. She strives every day to do the little things, as St. Thérèse did, and to live her life pleasing to Him.

8 replies on “Faux-In To The Chapel”

Thank you Rachel. I thought it was just me that thought this promposals was over the top. I appreciate bringing this to light.

Love the title (how appropriate and clever), love the content. This post should be required reading every year – right BEFORE prom ‘season’! I completely share your opinion about over-the-top prom – and weddings for that matter! I say focus on the relationship not that material!

As a mom of teen girls, can I say that I LOVED this article??? The excesses that some go to for prom cannot be imagined. And the whole pretending that you’re married thing – you are spot on. It’s hard raising kids at every stage…

Eek, prom-posal is a concept I wish I could scrub from my brain. I feel like there’s a big teachable opportunity with kids who are so obviously longing for romance and connection. Many, especially girls, look for these things in sex and glamorous over-consumption. I wonder if it’s our job not just to show them that they can’t find satisfaction there, but model for them where satisfaction and connection might really lie.

Of course, there’s always the BB gun…

Ick, prom-posals. I rented my dress (and darn glad I did so), as well as had a lift from my mom to the party, and a lift back from a good friend`s parents after the party. I am so happy my mother didnt spend a dime more than what she had to. Also, sad to say, but pre-marital sex is not only accepted, but expected. We have a saying around here: Try out the engine before you buy the car. And you know their not talking about vehicles!

It’s just another example of parents trying to buy the love of their children, instead of instilling the values of a dollar. Probably the same type of families that don’t tithe. There is more than one thing wrong with the money spent on proms, in addition to the message it is giving our youth.

Excellent points by everyone commenting. Well said, well written. I enjoyed reading. Wonder if those parents are going to spring for the hotel room, as well? Reminds me of the movie, “Pretty In Pink”…where Andie was always swimming upstream and not being the status quo and she meets Blane, young, rich, privileged and gives him a good schooling!

And there’s the old one from my day, “Children learn what they live.”

Enjoyed it:)

Peace & Hope

Diana

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