So I’ve been reading a new book by a few of the funniest Catholic women in the world called Sex, Style and Substance. This book is flying off the virtual shelves, so you have to buy the E-book or buy straight from the publisher. I’m only two chapters in and already I love it!
Since my conversion I feel like I do not belong anywhere. I no longer belong around secular people but if anyone even infers that I’m an orthodox Catholic you can almost see the rush of good Catholic women rushing to form committees of “How to add to the definition of Orthodox to make sure people don’t think we are like HER” . My priest said that Orthodox Catholics are Catholics that submit to the Authority and Teachings of the Church. I fit that definition. But what I don’t fit is the idea of “Orthodox” that I had in my head.
Let me tell you why I say that, but first I will tell you why I’m even telling you this and why it has anything to do with this book that I’m reading. Actually it has everything to do with everything I’m reading these days. But I won’t bore you with all the craziness in my head. I’m telling you all the reasons that I don’t fit in anywhere, because I think that when people become Catholic, or start reading Catholic blogs, especially women, we start comparing ourselves to one another.
There was a comment on my last post by a woman who is still single saying that somehow I got the better deal because she read my happy ending without really reading the rest of my blogs, or knowing anything about me. At first I was a bit insulted because it’s very easy to make the assumption that I “got lucky” somehow, if one doesn’t know anything about my life. It wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops.
I know many people have gone through worse; this isn’t a “My life was worse than yours” post. The problem is that when we compare ourselves to others, we don’t see everything that their life has had in it or has in it right now. We don’t see their tears, their sufferings, the people they have lost, or the people that have come in their life. All we see is the little bit of themselves that they are allowing us to see right at this moment.
You can’t see how my house is a complete wreck right now. How my kids have asked me 20 times “What’s for dinner?”. My husband sitting at his desk cussing out his computer for crashing, or any of the normal everyday things that goes on in my life. All you see is what I can put into 1,200 words or less.
I didn’t want to be Orthodox because the idea of ankle long skirts and sexually rigid women who lost their sense of humor the minute they started veiling ran through my mind. Like somehow being a good Catholic woman means that your house is always clean, your kids are well behaved etc. etc. etc. and I could never live up to that. Some Catholic women do some of those things or all of them, but we are not cookie cut outs of each other. We are all different, and sometimes we disagree about things.
I’m not any of the above. I love Lil Wayne, even if I have only two songs that I can in good conscience listen to. I listen to them on replay for hours. I have the loudest most obnoxious laugh you have ever heard. I’m sarcastic; I don’t know how to sit still or be quiet. I have NO filter. I have a personality as big as Texas, I’m not scared of anything and if I love you, I will fight for you. And you know what? All of that is OK. Being Orthodox doesn’t mean losing yourself, it means becoming who you were created to be. That is what I’m doing. I’m just like every other woman in the world, I’m just Catholic.
Nobody should envy my life; I have nothing that is not available to all of God’s children. I was just sick of being miserable and became open to whatever God wanted of me. Anyone who has never been there, and still loves God, should be on their knees thanking Him for His Grace that they never have been there, instead of envying anything about me. For those who are where I used to be, know that God loves you and is waiting for you to hand Him all of your heartache and make all your dreams come true.
“May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be” ~ St Terese of Lisieux
10 Replies to “A Day in the Life of a Catholic Woman…….”
So true, Leti! It is so easy to look in from the outside and compare ourselves to others (especially with people putting only their best foot forward out on the internet!), but it can be really harmful, especially to our spiritual lives! Comparison is the thief of joy, right?
p.s. You might be surprised, some of us skirt-wearing veilers do have quite a sense of humor! 😉
Colleen, after getting to know my Catholic Sistas, that whole idea of what Catholic women look like has been shattered. 😀
Suddenly I have a craving for bon bons……. LOL
Thank you… such a timely post in my life right now, so thank you so very much!
LOL – When I read the part about why you didn’t want to be “Orthodox”, my first thought was, “hey… Colleen and I are hilarious!” It’s like we share a brain. 🙂
p.s. great post, Leti!
One thing I learned was we are all human. Realizing this made it easier for me to forgive whatever someone did because I could very well be guilty of the same thing at some time.
Great post! I needed this post tonight. I feel this way right now. I go to Mass every Sunday and I will be Confirmed at Easter. I’m nervously awaiting my first Confession. Right now I’m trying to figure out who I am within my new found Faith. I love the Church and most of all I love Our Heavenly Father and Mother Mary.
Any advice is VERY welcome!
I want learn the life of a good catholic woman
Sandra- so do I. It seems like an unattainable goal. I’m so far from being a good Catholic woman. So much to learn.
This is an old post but I have really enjoyed it! Oh my, what’s worse that wearing a veil Catholic lady is being the mother of a priest. It’s not worst in a bad way but people immediately jump to some conclusion that’s always wrong. I am his first convert so no I was not praying the rosary or praying for him to be a priest, I was praying that he got out of high school. We did not go to Mass very often much less have family prayer. Anyway, I do get a lot of so weird expectations. I am so happy to be a Catholic woman but it’s still hard to find good friends.
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