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Ink Slingers Martina

You might just be a Catholic if…

With the help of some friends, we came up with a list of funny and quirky ways to identify ourselves as Catholics.Β 

Enjoy!

 

… you are out to eat and wonder why people are staring and then you realize it’s because you are doing the sign of the cross

…someone asks your child who Jesus’ mother was and they know by age 2

…you chase down your 4 year old to grab a squirt bottle of water because you realize it’s blessed holy water from school..
…people tease you about being Catholic b/c of your # of kids…and you are dead serious because you really are Catholic

β€Ž…someone refers to Jesus’ “Immaculate Conception” and you feel your eye start twitching immediately

…someone notices your crucifix and says “oh that’s the same thing as a cross”

…you have enough rosaries in your house to outfit an army

…you go on vacation and after booking the hotel you look for the nearest “normal looking” Catholic parish

…your children automatically break out in prayer when an ambulance passes

…you say something snarky and your first thought is ‘I need to go to confession’

…you spend more time telling fellow Catholics that no missing Mass isn’t ok.

…your 2 year old does the sign of the cross backwards and your older children say “isn’t that orthodox?”

…you have multiple holy cards, and still buy new ones of the same saints because you “don’t have that one yet” πŸ˜‰

…your child asks about which saint they were named after
…you say “my dad converted” and you don’t need to ask from what or to what.
or…for the italian catholics…you hear it’s someone you know’s feast day and have to resist the urge to pull thier ears…β™₯
…your two year old yells “it’s Jesus!” when he sees the parish priest in the stands at a football game in west Texas (hello bible belt) and points at the priest. Guess he thought I meant Father *was* Jesus instead of the Eucharist father was holding up. Ooops
…your son asks if there is a Saint Darth Vadar..
…you realize a cafeteria is where you choose food, not which parts of your faith you may or may not follow
…adding two more neighborhood kids to your family’s bowling/pizza outing making it a family of 9 and you and your hubby look at each other and say, “this feels right!” πŸ˜€
…you memorize which places serve fish on Fridays
…your idea of small talk is “so…what are you giving up for lent”
…you drive 30 min to another parish for confession because father will know your voice
…after having a child you are more concerned about scheduling the Baptism then when you get to your recovery room
β€Ž…you actually consider eating a Filet o’ Fish sandwich
…you accidently call your OB “Father” instead of Dr
…you have a baby with medical problems the first thing you think about is how fast the priest can be there to Baptize your child.
…your five year old draws a picture at home and you ask ‘is that you and Daddy?’ And they say ‘no, that’s me and Father John”
…you can name seven household uses for holy water
…you find rosaries under your couch cushions
…your nearly one year old’s first phrase is “bye bye, Jesus” as we drive by a Catholic church β™₯
…you have to explain to your Protestant friends that Mass actually counts as going to ‘church’
…you have Immaculate Heart and Sacred Heart pictures hanging over your couch
…your kids dress up as saints for halloween
…your friend calls to tell you she’s preggo with her seventh child and you say, “That’s SO WONDERFUL!”
..your vacations revolve around shrines
…your MIL notices your decor and asks, “What, are you trying to be Holy or something?”
…your seven year old practices offering Mass in your living room and creates Hosts by cutting tortillas into circles and grape juice for the Blood of Christ. β™₯
…people look at your 20+C+M+B+12 sign above your door and say …wtheck is that?
…your mantle is turned into an Altar!
…you celebrate Christmas…beyond the 25th.
…your daughter inherits a skirt from a neighbor but declines it because it “isnt long enough” πŸ™‚
…Latin or chant at your Sunday Mass doesn’t sound weird to you…and you actually know most of the responses.
…you drink a beer on church property
…instead of “with your spirit” you find yourself inadvertently cursing and saying to yourself “I’ll get it next time… I know it!”
…you drive by the entrance of a university and your teenager knows how to read the school’s motto in Latin AND understands it!
…your 6 year old is super excited not because of moving onto 2nd grade but because she emphatically reminds me ‘it’s 1st Communion year!!”
…you seriously considered a good reason for attending a Catholic University the fact that meeting a Catholic guy may be more likely to happen
…you can tell your kids that daddy’s a knight…and mean it πŸ˜‰
…you love having a MAN in authority over you and a MOTHER to guide you…even in your sex life and reproductive “choices”
…your four year old is jazzed to go to the KC’s “French fry” during Lent.
…you try to convince Father to put in a jogging trail around the perimeter of the parish campus so moms and dads can get some exercise while their kids are at RE. πŸ˜‰
…you bless yourself with the Sign of the Cross as you pass the church, & the bank…
…a common phrase in your house is “Sweetie, put that relic DOWN! That is not a toy!” or “Take the rosary out of your mouth. That’s for praying, not eating.”
…everywhere you look there is a rosary. Β I’m talking purse, coffee table, pocket of bathrobe, kitchen counter, etc.
…you find out DH is going on a business trip, and you start googling the nearest churches for him as a time saver…ORΒ when DH is going on a business trip & gets excited to put the Catholic Directory app on his iPhone.
…the leader of your Church on earth rides around in a little glass-windowed vehicle.
…your kid throws a “hail Mary” pass and you know he is actually saying the hail Mary as he does it
…you attend a wedding in a Protestant church & you have to remind yourself not to genuflect before sitting in the pew.
…you get an iphone and the first thing you search for is an NFP app
…you go to a protestant wedding and you have to go through the explanation…again… as to why you can’t receive communion at their church.
…you are friends with nuns and/or priests on facebook…
…you admire devout christians ( like michelle duggar) but inwardly think ” she would make SUCH a good catholic”
Join the fun! What would you add to this list?

By Martina Kreitzer

Martina is a cradle Catholic, wife to Neil, and mother to eight kiddos here {and three in heaven}– 4/96-12/19. She decided to homeschool the kiddos in 2010 after many years in public schools and is currently transitioning out of homeschooling. She is the creator of Catholic Sistas which focuses on a feminine perspective of the Catholic Faith. The website was the result of an existing camaraderie by the contributors in a Catholic women’s group she created. She is also a Seal of Approval evaluator for the Catholic Writers Guild. Lest you think she spends all her time online, Martina has enjoyed getting out into the community by serving on the Pastoral Council from 2010-2013. She is constantly on the lookout to make her parish as welcoming as the small town she grew up in East Texas. This task is not easy given that St. William is the largest parish in the Austin diocese, serving well over twenty thousand parishioners. She loves Jesus, coffee, bacon, chocolate, photography, more bacon, evangelizing, and the company of those unafraid to use their sense of humor.

6 replies on “You might just be a Catholic if…”

Love it. Not sure which one was my favorite though. I’m leaning toward everywhere you look is a rosry. Coffee table, pocket, cushions, etc. Yup! That would be me. πŸ™‚

The 1st consistently used phrase from my kid (at1.5) is “Hi Jesus!” Whenever we pass ANY house of worship. He gets mad if I don’t say it too. πŸ˜‰

By 2, your kid occasionally insists on leading meal or bed-time prayers. Often he switches the Our Father for the prayer before meals and the prayer before meals for the Our Father. This still happens at 3. πŸ™‚

By 3 he points out your parish church saying, “that’s MY Jesus!” <3

This was a real treat – and I can relate to every.single.one! Here’s my two cents worth:

At the beginning of the movie this weekend, Rachel (2) said, “look at the pretty church!” Simon (4) replied, “that’s not a church; that’s the Disney castle!”

My husband’s GPS is already set to Catholic churches all over the country for his business trips in ‘favorites’. My first question when I speak to him on a Sunday out of town is, ‘so how was the Mass there?’ and he knows exactly what I mean and gives me the scoop!

I would have to add you know you are a Deacon’s Wife if you husband leaves for church at 9 am on a Sunday and is not done till 8pm. Your 7 year old asks if he can go to the Vespers where they bang the books on the pews (Tenebrae) You have real life friends that are nuns and monks and Monseigneurs. Your teenager can sing in Latin and loves it.

I am sure that there are more but I will leave it at that, as the 7 year old wants to make some pancakes. I know about a week late. What can I say?

I love it when my grandson looked at a Willow statue of a couple we got for our anniversary and says, “Nonna, what saints are they?”

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