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Current Events Marriage Mindy

With the Pope…but Weirdly.

pope1Two years ago, when I first heard about the possibility of the Pope visiting America, I took for granted that we would be there. Of course we would be there! It’s Philadelphia! From Alaska, it’s not the easiest journey, but certainly easier than travelling domestically, and what an excitement to see the Holy Father on our own land. I’m actually thinking that, when I first heard about this possibility, Pope Benedict XVI was still our Holy Father. Bear with my fuzzy brain.

Yet here we are, and I’ve barely managed to watch any coverage at all. What kind of Catholic am I these days? My parents, who are not of the faith, excitedly shared their joy with me about the coverage they watched of the Pope landing. One of my daughters, who watched the coverage at her school, casually mentioned, “Does President Obama have two daughters? Because they got to see the Pope today, and I didn’t.”

I played with the same reaction–it’s hard not to have a wee bit of envy, imagining an environment in which our Holy Mother Church and her earthly leader at the helm is actually celebrated at large for a change. But once the time came to make plans to go, I didn’t even ponder the possibility. 

Two years ago, our youngest daughter was 5. Traveling for pleasure, exploration, and discovery was becoming, again, a possibility in our minds, while we also wondered whether we’d ever be blessed with more children. Fast forward two years, and our family size has grown from 6 to 11 due to the custody of one child being restored, the adoption of one precious guy who just turned 3 years old this week (CHEERING!!!), the birth of a beautiful little girl, and the long-term fostering of two children who may- or-may-not-be-staying-permanently-who-knows. Thank you, God. We’re overwhelmed with your charitable answer to our question!

I submitted my FAFSA the other day for grad school and got the following error:

Fafsa

So, my enthusiasm for jumping on an airplane to get to Philadelphia with my family this year shrank to basically zero. It turns out, there is a limit to my willingness to suffer for the faith.

However, this week has been brimming with (coffee and) solidarity as I cherish my family members, and especially, my husband. He and I have been utterly devoid of opportunities for conversation lately, let alone times of rejuvenation and relaxed connection. I have been really consciously trying this week, more than most weeks, to keep a positive attitude and demeanor. It is a choice, and what a calming influence it has on the whole family, and especially, him. I pray for the grace to continue this, because I like having lots of happiness in my family. It’s good for everyone.

I find great strength in knowing the Vicar of Christ on earth is walking on American soil this week and praying for me and my family personally, and all of you. We are truly blessed! If you are not among the fortunate souls in attendance this week, may God grant you the time and space to watch the footage of Pope Francis and to receive the peace of Christ ever available in our Holy Mother the Church.

 

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Current Events Ink Slingers Michelle Spiritual Growth

See You in Philadephia… Or Not

pope francis in the usI have something to confess; I am sad that I am not getting to attend the World Meeting of Families that begins in Philadelphia tomorrow. I’m not only sad, I’m a little bit mad too. I want so badly to be there- to see our Papa and to be surrounded by people excited and on fire for faith. We had plans to be there and yet here we sit at home. It just seems so unfair.

A very dear Jewish friend of ours told us about the Congress before we had ever heard about it. In February 2013 she asked me if we were considering going. She lives in the Philadelphia area and when I said I wasn’t sure, she insisted that we must be there for it. She opened her home to us (all of us!) and said if we could get there she’d take care of the rest. And so for the two and a half years our family has planned to go to the Congress, the Festival of Families, and the Papal Mass.

But then life happened and our dream of heading out to Philly to see the Pope and hang out with a couple million of our closest Catholic friends seemed to disappear into thin air.

When Hopes Come Crashing Down

It’s hard when something you have hoped and planned for doesn’t come to fruition. When the reasons are ones out of your control, well, it makes it even worse. I’ll be honest and tell you I have been sulking a little bit. My heart yearns to be in Philadelphia; I long to hear our Papa speak to us in our own language, on our own soil. I want to be a part of something so much bigger than myself. But, God has other plans and those plans don’t include us heading to Philadelphia for the world’s largest meeting of Catholic families.

why mePart of my sadness about not going to Philadelphia is rooted in why we can’t go. We’ve had a series of events happen in the last couple of months that brought us (literally!) to our knees. As crisis after crisis overtook our family, we found ourselves fighting to just keep our heads above the rising flood waters. It seemed as if the devil was attacking us from all sides. We felt hopeless and overwhelmed. Suddenly going on a trip was extravagant and impossible. It seemed so unfair that after all we’ve been through we also can’t go on our trip. It was easy to begin to think “why me?”

I’ve tried to reason that I can watch the coverage on television and that I will have a better view of the Mass and the events that are happening. I’ve even reminded myself over and over again that I don’t do well in crowds and this is going to be an insanely large crowd. I’ve thought about the logistics of traveling through the crowd with so many little ones and the fear I would have about possibly getting separated from one another. But in my heart I know that I would much rather be there in person, experiencing the sights, the sounds, and the holiness that will surround the event. There is just something about being a part of this important event that calls out to my soul.

God Reminds Us of His Plans

As I sulked, I began to pray. I asked God to comfort me and to assure me that my not going to Philadelphia was within His plans. As I prayed I was led to a scripture I know very well. In fact, it is a scripture that we often share when we talk about God’s plans for our family…

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jer 29:11

How appropriate that God would use this verse to remind me that He has a plan! Even when our problems and our worries seem to overwhelm us, God still has a plan! It may not be what I have in mind, but in the end it will always be better than what I could ever imagine myself.

As much as I long to be there and as long as I have planned to go, God has a reason for me not being there. It’s hard to trust in God’s plans when we have our minds and hearts set on something else. It’s hard to let go of a dream that we’ve held for so long. But God calls us to trust Him in everything.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

As the World Meeting of Families begins tomorrow, I pray in thanksgiving for all those who are able to attend. I look forward to reading updates by friends who are blessed to be there. I have made the decision to be joyful instead of sad. I am going to watch the coverage on television and I am going to snuggle with my children on the couch as we share our faith together in the comfort of our home. I will trust that there is a reason God wants me to be here in rural Georgia instead of in Philadelphia with fellow pilgrims.

I can’t wait to see the fruits of this Congress and our Pope’s visit to our country. I pray that his visit will open hearts and minds to Christ’s love and that all those who encounter the Catholic faith through the coverage of the World Families Meeting will also encounter Christ.

Love is the mission this week… I pray we all will become fully alive in Christ’s love no matter where we are in locality or in life.

glory of God