Amy M. Ink Slingers Marriage Parenting Prayer Vocations

Examining the Examen

family prayerEach year as Advent approaches, I look for new and more ways for our family to reflect and grow closer to God. We try to add prayer times and extra novenas to our normal routine.

Last Christmas, my husband gave me a book called, Six Sacred Rules for Families. Before beginning to discuss the “rules,” the book begins by discussing a method of reflective or contemplative prayer called the Examen. As a cradle Catholic, I am ashamed to say I hadn’t heard of this specific prayer prior to reading this book. I was intrigued by the simplicity of it and wanted to learn more about its history.

For many years, we have tried to focus at some point every day on asking each child what they liked about their day, what they thought could have gone better, how they worked to make themselves the best person they can be that day. We pray each morning that God will show each of us how to be the best “me” that we can be that day – how or what He wants us to do that day. In the evening we refocus and try to reflect on how God worked in our lives that day. At least, that is our goal. I wasn’t sure if the prayer in the morning and the questions in the evening were connecting with the children.

As I was planning what I was writing for this post, a friend posted about reading three questions to ask your child each night. The three questions very closely resembled the steps of the Examen.

  1. What is something that made you smile today?
  2. What is something that made you cry today?
  3. What is something you learned today?

Again, my mind went to the Examen and how to incorporate it into our family prayers.

I began to read more about the origins of the Examen and prayed about how to make it part of our routine, believing it to be the key to linking our morning prayers and dinner/bedtime routine together.

st. ignatiusThe Daily Examen is an Ignatian prayer developed by St. Ignatius. St. Ignatius thought the the prayer and spiritual exercises were a gift directly from God. The Examen helps us to see God’s hand in our daily lives. In researching the Examen, I found a few different methods of this prayer.

From Ignatian Spirituality, the basic approach to the Examen is in five steps:

  1. Become aware of God’s presence.
  2. Review the day with gratitude.
  3. Pay attention to your emotions.
  4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
  5. Look toward tomorrow.

– There are a lot of free PDFs and other materials available  – Examen Resources


The Laudate app for Android discusses two approaches to the Examen. The first it calls, “CPR”:

C= Claim your blessings

P= Pinpoint victories and losses

R= Renew your loving commitment to Christ

The other method is called the Analytical Method.

  1. Quiet your soul and enter in God’s Presence, asking Him for light to know yourself and to know Him.
  2. Review the major areas of God’s will in your life, examining the level of your faithfulness to what God was asking of you. Trust that the Holy Spirit will draw your attention to what He wants you to reflect on.
  3. Thank God for the good that, with His grace, you were able to accomplish, ask for His forgiveness for your shortcomings and sins.
  4. Renew your commitment to follow Him even more closely tomorrow.


Six Sacred Rules for Families also contains an approach to the Examen. It takes the reader more thoroughly through the reflective prayer time.

  1. Find a comfortable place where you can secure ten or fifteen quiet minutes. Have a journal handy.
  2. Close your eyes and relax your body.
  3. Invite the Holy Spirit to be with you in prayer.
  4. Offer God thanks for the day and anything else that immediately comes to mind.
  5. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you light to see how you’ve experienced God’s grace over the past day.
  6. Move through the day as if you were watching it on a video.
  7. Ask God for forgiveness for any sins and ask for grace to grow in love in the coming day.
  8. Close with an Our Father.
  9. Write about your experience of prayer.


This book also adapts the prayer for families to pray with children.

  1. Quiet your children before bedtime (we find it easier to have them focus when we are eating dinner).
  2. Ask them what made them happy over the past day.
  3. Ask them what made them sad over the past day.
  4. Ask them what they look forward to tomorrow.
  5. Remind them to thank God for what made them happy, ask for God’s help when they are sad, and pray for God’s presence in the coming day.


Knowing that God is always near us and that when we don’t feel Him close it is because WE have moved away, I have begun praying not for God’s presence in the coming day but for us to be more aware of God’s presence in the coming day. The Examen is one way that our family is trying to become more aware of His presence in each moment of our lives. Especially during this time of Advent when we are called to wait and prepare not only for the birth of our Savior but for His second coming, we need to take the time to reflect and become more aware of God in order to grow closer to Him.

I hope that this brief explanation helps you to find another way to pray and grow closer to God. What new traditions is your family starting this Advent season? What is your favorite family tradition?


These examples of the Examen are excerpts from:

Six Sacred Rules of Families by Tim and Sue Muldoon



Laudate app for Android and iOS



Each of these references has more detail about this beautifully simple prayer.


My prayer for each of us this Advent season is that we will indeed find God as we seek Him with all our hearts and souls as the author of Deuteronomy 4:29 writes: “Yet when you seek the LORD, your God, from there, you shall indeed find him if you search after him with all your heart and soul.”

cropped for cs


Amy M. Ink Slingers Spiritual Growth

Thankful for…Mice?

“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

For our family of seven (soon to be 8), a weekend “off” (or mostly off) is a rare and celebrated occasion. When that weekend falls in such a way that I’m not working AND the weather is nice, we get downright giddy – especially when said weekend is in November. See, we live in Indiana. We’ve been under frost advisories and even warnings since mid-September. When we saw the forecast for this weekend was temperatures in the 60’s, we started planning outside chores for the whole family. It is time to get ready for winter.

We decided on two tasks that really NEEDED to be accomplished this weekend. The leaves need to be raked, and the garage needs cleaned out. We had been working on several indoor projects as school started which had led us to neglecting the garage and using it more for storage of sports equipment instead of the van. Two mornings last week had frost thick enough to require a scraper on the windows, and thus I decided it was time to get the van back into the garage.

The kids decided to start with raking. My husband and I decided to start with emptying the garage. As we continued to empty, it became more and more evident that we have critters living in our garage, namely mice. First and foremost we were disgusted and feeling very creepy-crawly (and still feeling this way in many, many ways).

Then I started thinking about all the Facebook posts that run rampant in the month of November, “Today I am thankful for…” I do it too. And I truly am thankful, and very blessed, for my faith, husband, children, family, home, health, friends, and so on and so on. But what about the things that happen in the day-to-day, or even the minute-to-minute? Do I stop and remember to “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks?” Wait, rejoice and give thanks for mice in the garage?!? How do I do that? How do I give thanks and rejoice in the minute details?

In the case of the garage, I am thankful that the van hasn’t been in the garage. I am thankful that they are in the garage, not the house (stretching a little, yes, maybe).

When the children fight (what, kids fight? Not MINE ;)), I need to pray for God’s grace, for myself and for them. I also am thankful that I have children, that they are boisterous and opinionated, and that the majority of the time, they love and look out for each other. I may cringe when my oldest is the lector at Mass and our youngest cries out, “There’s my Jackie!” but inside I’m happy she loves her brother so much and even happier when, after Mass, he picks her up right in front of his classmates and friends to give her a hug before returning to school.

When someone is hurt or hurting at school or church, the prayer requests run rampant. I’m overwhelmed with emotion thinking of our school and our church family. There is no such thing as too many prayer requests because we are told to “Pray without ceasing.”

Our group comes together to provide meals for the family in crisis, rides for children, and childcare, whatever is needed. While we aren’t rejoicing that the family is having trouble, we rejoice that we have our faith uniting us and propelling us to be Christ in flesh to one another.

See, it is in our perspective that we can find God or get lost in this world. Jesus tells us to be in this world but not of this world. We are here to do our best, to serve God and others and love as Jesus did, but this is not our eternal home. In each moment we have a choice to fall victim to the self-pity that we may feel we deserve given our current circumstances or to turn to God and give Him our concerns, our worries, our failings, our triumphs. When we choose the latter, we are living as Jesus taught us, and we receive His strength to face our challenges. “I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me.” Philippians 4:13

Getting back to our mouse situation, we could have chosen to let it ruin our weekend, turned on each other, blaming one another or the children for letting the garage become the mess it had, for spilling the dog food that seems to be so attractive to these creatures. Instead we chose to work together, to really clean out the garage, purging as we went, trying to minimize the attractiveness of our home and garage to these creatures in the future.

Every moment has the potential for being a “God-moment.” It doesn’t have to be a rock-my- world- life-changing event where we say, “Oh yeah, remember when God did…” Sometimes, it is the smile that greets you when you turn expecting a sour face because they were sitting by your biggish family at church. Sometimes, it is the basket scored by a player who doesn’t have that opportunity often and the cheer that rises from the crowd is reminiscent of winning a state tournament, and you know that is only because we are all a big family, united in Christ, that they cheer in such a way. When we focus on the key verse, “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, any moment becomes a “God-moment” because our eyes are open to His presence all around us and in our hearts.

What are you thankful for? What unexpected place have you seen God in your life?