Have you ever wondered why some people can’t seem to stop thinking about their first love, even though decades have passed? Or why your best friend keeps going back to that toxic ex boy/girlfriend even though she/he is fully aware the relationship is dysfunctional? Or why certain addictions seem to run in families? Or why you just can’t seem to heal from that childhood trauma, abuse, or broken relationship? One answer could be that a soul tie is present.
In his book, Deep Wounds, Deep Healing, Dr. Charles H. Kraft speaks of soul ties as “spirit-to-spirit ties.” Neal Lozano, Catholic layman and founder of Heart of the Father Ministries, refers to soul ties as “relational bondage.”
Whatever you call it, a soul tie is a spiritual attachment to another human being. Imagine that you are the center of a wagon wheel, and all the spokes are going out away from you, creating a link to any person with whom you have had physical relations, or a familial, or deep emotional friendship.
Biblically, Mark 10: 9-12, and Genesis 2:24, support the notion of a soul tie in marriage. 1 Samuel 18:1-3 shows how a deep friendship creates a soul tie.
Soul ties are a good thing. Except when they’re a bad thing. Soul ties can be negative if they open you up to a person’s addictions, violent tendencies, or effects of occult activity. Those of us in deliverance ministry recognize that the existence of a negative soul tie may be contributing to a person’s spiritual issues. We live in a world that contains things both seen and unseen. There are beautiful angels of light ministering to us at this very moment, sent by God to help us do His will. At the same time, there are evil spirits whose goal is to tempt us to sin. Both of these kinds of spiritual beings are all around us. And they can travel between us via a soul tie.
The drug addict who has sexual relations with his addicted friends, but then goes to rehab and gets clean, still has that pull to go and hang out with the friends, even though he knows it is wrong; this is the effect a soul tie can have on us. When someone is sexually abused, breaking that tie with the abuser (it was made by the act, although completely involuntary on the part of the victim), is helpful to healing.
In my ministry and in my own life, the breaking of negative soul ties has been a valuable tool. I was raped as a child and so I have made sure to break that tie with the perpetrator. I don’t even know his name—it happened when I was young, in the dark and so I couldn’t see his face—but I’m no longer tied to him spiritually. The tie has been severed. I feel free. I now carry only my own baggage, not his as well.
In my ministry, I have seen the severing of soul ties have an amazing effect on people. One young woman was suffering from spiritual harassment. When we interviewed her, it came to light that she had quite a few family members who were into the occult. One in particular was an aunt with whom she was very close. She broke soul ties with the family members, and a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. When she came to us, she had deep creases between her eyebrows, and she was stooped over. After simply breaking the soul ties, her face and posture were relaxed and she said she felt a weight lift off of her. Spiritually, this young lady has a lot more work to do, but severing those ties made a good start.
We can break soul ties with those people who are in our lives in a positive way, as well, if negative situations have happened. For example, if you and a sibling or friend tend to gossip when you’re together, that is a negative aspect of your relationship, based on sin. Obviously, going to confession regarding the sin is a given. But breaking the soul tie may help you resist that sin in the future.
If you view pornography…well, if you view pornography, STOP. It will have a negative effect on your ability to relate to a spouse sexually and, frankly, it’s sinful. However, according to Matthew 5:28, you are creating soul ties with everyone you view. Think about that.
So what do we do if we have a negative soul tie with someone? Break the tie. There are 5 simple steps to breaking a soul tie.
Sacrament of penance.
Acknowledge and confess any sin you participated in with this person, and resolve not to commit it again.
Dispose of any objects they gave you that may symbolize the relationship.
An engagement ring, a phone, cards, even a tee shirt, anything that connects them to you.
Break any vows made to that person.
For example; “I will love you forever,” “I will never love anyone but you,” “You are the only person who will ever make me happy,” etc. Words can bind (think of wedding vows) or loose. To break the vow you can use these words: “In the name of Jesus, I renounce and break the vow I made to (state the person’s name) when I said, (say the vow).” Also, at this time, it is appropriate to break any spoken curses made by the person to you (see Proverbs 21:23). Examples of these types of curses are as follows: “You’re worthless!” “You’re ugly/fat/stupid, etc.” “I wish you were dead!” “You never should have been born!” These need to be broken. Here are some words you can use to do this: “In the name of Jesus, I sever and break any and all curses placed upon me by (state the person’s name), and I ask the Lord to replace these with a blessing. Amen.”
Forgive the person for any wrong they have done you.
Now you are ready to break the soul tie.
Here are some words you can use to break the tie:
“In the name of Jesus, I renounce, sever, and break any ungodly soul ties that exist between me and (state the person’s name), in the area of (name the sin), and I ask the Lord to replace these with a blessing.” In cases of abuse, the sin is the perpetrator’s sIn, not yours, but name it anyway. In the case of pornography, or a abuse by someone who could not be identified, just say, “Any and all persons I have viewed in pornography,” or “The person who raped/molested/bullied/beat me.” Any breaking of vows, curses, or soul ties should be made out loud. It shows that your will is strong and you are making a commitment to the action.
If you are living according to Church teaching, but are still having difficulties, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you if there are negative soul ties affecting your life. Then take the steps to break them. It could make a huge impact on your healing.
BIO: Gemma Gee is a lifelong Catholic who received the gift of deliverance from the Holy Spirit seven years ago. She has worked in two dioceses on deliverance teams, and has had the privilege to witness healings through the power of the Holy Spirit.