When we think of Valentine’s Day, we often think of big romantic gestures. Maybe a candlelit dinner or a gift of roses.
The reality is that I have never experienced any of those things. Most Valentine’s Days I have been single.
The only exception to the rule was my one-year relationship. Given that we broke up over the Christmas holiday, I know that this Valentine’s Day will be rough.
Maybe you also went through a breakup or you’re still waiting for a special man to ask you out, I want to introduce you to my new favorite saint, St. Valentine. Before I do, I need to share a little bit of relationship history.
My Relationship: How it Ended
Spoiler alert: I emotionally cheated on my boyfriend. I am grateful for the godly people in my life, who showed me the dangerous path that I was undertaking. I confessed to my boyfriend and we broke up.
I think any relationship requires vulnerability and trust. I know for myself I was not honest about the insecurities about the relationship. Rather than voicing my insecurities, I sought the comfort of another.
This was wrong!
I feel bad about how it ended.
Chastity is Hard!
A word about Chasity: nobody can help you. I consulted numerous dating books. Heck, my ex-boyfriend and I read Theology of the Body together. At the end of the day, it still doesn’t help you define the line.
The most I can say is have a set of non-negotiable ground rules. Once you start physical activity it is hard to stop.
I would say that if we were imperfect in any way, it would be because of chastity. We gave away our hearts too soon without a sense of future together.
The pain of Breaking Up
As the dumper, I didn’t expect to feel pain or loss. After all, it was my decision. Yet regret hit me like a flood. I lost and hurt the person I supposedly loved.
I’m a fixer by nature.
I want to fix my mistakes. I’m learning slowly that some mistakes can’t be taken back easily.
Thus I turn to the only source of comfort I have, Jesus Christ.
St Valentine’s Novena
I wanted a novena. I wanted something I could pray every day for nine days. I wanted it to be about relationships and dating.
I know that Saint Raphael the Archangel is usually the go-to person when it comes to relationships. Yet Saint Raphael’s novena did not speak to me. I had nearly given up when I stumbled on this,
“Loving Father, You know that the deepest desire of my heart is to meet someone that I can share my life with. I trust in your loving plan for me and ask that I might meet soon the person that you have prepared for me. Through the power of your Holy Spirit, open my heart and mind so that I recognize my soulmate. Remove any obstacles that may be in the way of this happy encounter, So that I might find a new sense of wholeness, joy, and peace. Give me the grace too, to know and accept, if you have another plan for my life. I surrender my past, present, and future into the tender heart of your Son, Jesus, Confident that my prayer will be heard and answered. Amen. Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you. Valentine, pray for me.
Legend has it that St. Valentine was arrested, beaten and killed for helping Christians get married.
Thus the guy knew a thing or two about obstacles.
My favorite line is, “Remove any obstacles that may be in the way of this happy encounter So that I might find a new sense of wholeness, joy, and peace.”
This line reminds me that ultimately God is in control. Yes, I messed up. Yet if the relationship was meant to be then God can remove all obstacles; even the ones I placed myself.
If you find yourself single for Valentine’s day, please spend some time with Jesus. Ask him to help you trust in his loving plan. Consider praying to St. Valentine.
There is no obstacle God cannot remove!