20 Great Things about Being Catholic

  1. Who needs Stephen King or Paranormal movies when you have real-life martyrs?

    We’re friends with the REAL Saint Nicholas–the Catholic bishop who lived in the 4th century, whose generosity served as a model for Father Christmas, Pere Noel, Sinter Klaus, and all the other secular knock offs.

  2. With multiple weekend Masses, you can go to church AND still sleep in on Sunday morning.
  3. Our kids don’t need to watch horror movies for thrills and childhood nightmares; they can just read stories about how our martyrs died instead.
  4. We have a saint for every cause and occasion. Sore throat? There’s an app(arition) for that. Work as an elevator operator? There’s an app for that, too.
  5. We get to keep our Christmas decorations up nearly two weeks later than the rest of the world.
  6. We have so many feast days there’s no end to the excuses for a party. (A month ago, my family had a birthday party for St. Augustine, complete with Algerian food.)
  7. We have confession, the cheapest and most effective form of therapy.
  8. We gave the world the Bible (even if half the world uses it against us).
  9. We can believe in evolution AND God.
  10. We get two mothers and one of them is Queen of the Universe.
  11. Women are considered “God’s masterpiece.” (You notice He stopped after creating us.)
  12. The Incorruptibles–what’s not to love about saintly corpses that don’t rot?
  13. Yep, my daughter is a nun and my son-in-law is perfect. No, I mean REALLY perfect.

    We get the world’s only perfect son-in-law when our daughters become nuns.

  14. Babies–they’re a good thing.
  15. Sex–it’s a great thing. (Those looking for the meaning of life, just click on the link.)
  16. There’s no such thing as pointless misery–suffering actually has a purpose.
  17. We’re friends with spiritual heavyweights such as St. Peter, St. Ambrose, and St. Joan of Arc in THIS life, not just the next.
  18. The fruit of the vine is a blessing, not a curse.
  19. Candles, incense, liturgical colors–every new season of the year is a new feast for the senses.
  20. We get to witness (and experience) a miracle at every Mass–a piece of bread and cup of wine becoming God himself. It doesn’t get any better than that, folks.

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