We’re friends with the REAL Saint Nicholas–the Catholic bishop who lived in the 4th century, whose generosity served as a model for Father Christmas, Pere Noel, Sinter Klaus, and all the other secular knock offs.
- With multiple weekend Masses, you can go to church AND still sleep in on Sunday morning.
- Our kids don’t need to watch horror movies for thrills and childhood nightmares; they can just read stories about how our martyrs died instead.
- We have a saint for every cause and occasion. Sore throat? There’s an app(arition) for that. Work as an elevator operator? There’s an app for that, too.
- We get to keep our Christmas decorations up nearly two weeks later than the rest of the world.
- We have so many feast days there’s no end to the excuses for a party. (A month ago, my family had a birthday party for St. Augustine, complete with Algerian food.)
- We have confession, the cheapest and most effective form of therapy.
- We gave the world the Bible (even if half the world uses it against us).
- We can believe in evolution AND God.
- We get two mothers and one of them is Queen of the Universe.
- Women are considered “God’s masterpiece.” (You notice He stopped after creating us.)
- The Incorruptibles–what’s not to love about saintly corpses that don’t rot?
We get the world’s only perfect son-in-law when our daughters become nuns.
- Babies–they’re a good thing.
- Sex–it’s a great thing. (Those looking for the meaning of life, just click on the link.)
- There’s no such thing as pointless misery–suffering actually has a purpose.
- We’re friends with spiritual heavyweights such as St. Peter, St. Ambrose, and St. Joan of Arc in THIS life, not just the next.
- The fruit of the vine is a blessing, not a curse.
- Candles, incense, liturgical colors–every new season of the year is a new feast for the senses.
- We get to witness (and experience) a miracle at every Mass–a piece of bread and cup of wine becoming God himself. It doesn’t get any better than that, folks.