Just this past Saturday I was chatting with a friend about the many distractions in our lives. The gist of the conversation was that we live in a society that does not place a high priority on “down time.” Time away from the every day. Time to rejuvenate ourselves. Time to relish silence.
This kind of down time is a requirement of the human condition. We just can not go, go, go endlessly. Our minds and bodies need a break.
Afterwards, that conversation remained with me and I started thinking beyond just the rejuvenating aspect of having down time. Going a bit deeper, as Christians we need a regular prayer life to help us rejuvenate ourselves spiritually so we can face the secular world on a daily basis.
As a musician for more than twenty-five years I was able to relate the need for silence in our lives as Christians to the combination of musical notes and rests that together make up a musical composition. Thinking more deeply about the importance of silence in music I saw parallels to the relationship God wants to have with us.
Read the Rests
I was in the sixth grade when I started both piano lessons and learning a band instrument in school. One of the hardest music lessons to teach a room full of a hundred 11 and 12 years olds is to read the rests.
Music is made up of notes and rests. The musical notes you play will not make sense if you ignore the rests. And the lengths of the rests is very important as well. If you make it too short, you will start playing over someone else and potentially cause a clash of sounds that is unpleasant to the ear. Conversely, wait too long on the rests, come in late, and you stick out like a sore thumb while also causing a clash of sounds unpleasant to the ear. Get too many people not reading the rests properly and the result can sound rather chaotic.
It can be extremely hard to learn to read the rests as a young musician. You are anxious to get to your part, the rests are boring, the rests feel longer than they really are, and you just want to play the notes. That is where the fun is after all!
Just like in life, we often find the most fun in doing stuff. And it is all usually good stuff, just like the music notes are all good. But focusing on the notes to the detriment of the rests can create chaos and unpleasantness.
Good Music Can Still Be a Distraction
I was out of town recently and on the Sunday morning of that weekend, my husband and I attended Mass at a church in the area in which we were staying. We walked in about 10 minutes before the start of Mass. The praise and worship style band was practicing in the church and people were talking and chatting with those around them in normal speaking voices. I tried to pray before Mass and had a difficult time concentrating because of all the noise around me.
The Mass itself was fine, for the most part, but the music was very loud. It is a good sized church and we were not sitting particularly close to the musicians, but it still seemed louder than I am accustomed to. I left that Mass feeling like I had not really had a chance to focus on why I was there. Instead of adding to the reverence of the Mass, the music seemed to be a constant distraction.
There was nothing wrong with the music itself, it was good music, but it created a distraction because of the need (it seemed to me) to fill the silence with some sort of sound. Ultimately what I missed during that Mass was the reverence that is often accomplished from some degree of silence.
Finding The Silence towards a Fuller Relationship
Just this past Sunday I attended a Holy Hour and Benediction and finally had an opportunity to sit in silence. And it was hard. I’m so used to distractions that when given the opportunity to relish silence I do not know what to do with myself. I loved that I could pray without distraction. I loved sitting in the huge cathedral with about 20 other people in complete silence. I loved gazing upon Jesus in the Eucharist. And I loved the opportunity to pray and talk to him. And I had a lot to pray for.
While I sat there I also thought about the conversation I had just had the day before about silence in our world. We need down time to rejuvenate ourselves so we can be productive in our day to day work. We need time one on one with our husbands on a regular basis so we can continually rekindle the love we have for each other. And we also need time with Jesus. But we need to listen too. I tend to spend my prayer time talking to Jesus. I pray for the intentions on my heart, I pray for the intentions of friends, I thank Him for the many, many blessings in my life, and I offer Him praise just for being God and my creator. What I often do not do, forget to do, is listen. I do not sit in silence and give Jesus the opportunity to speak to me.
As I sat in the church the other day thinking about all this I tried to empty the thoughts from my mind, gaze upon Jesus sitting on the altar, and allow Him to speak to me.
I was not completely successful, but it was a step in the right direction. Just as I learned from spending over 20 years as a musician, practice makes perfect. I only need to remind myself of this lesson and keep practicing it and one day I will be able to relish that silence more completely and at least give Jesus the opportunity to speak to me.
I can speak to him all I want, but that will only create a one-sided relationship. I want a complete relationship with my Lord and my God. I am working on listening.
Music is more than just the notes on a page that creates a beautiful sound for an audience. The music is also made up of rests. These moments of silence add to the drama and intrigue of the music; it is what makes the music interesting. The silence is just as important as the notes the musicians play. In the same way, we need silence in our life. Not only should we use those silent moments in our lives to lay our petitions before God, but we also need to stop talking, start listening, and allow God to use that silence to speak to us.
About Kerri Baunach
Kerri Baunach is a cradle Catholic, wife to Chris, and mom of three boys (including twins). She and her family live in beautiful central Kentucky. She is active in her church, a member of Cursillo, and a Benedictine Oblate Novice, hopefully to be a full Oblate by late 2015. In addition to the three children Kerri and her husband are raising, they also have three children in heaven. Kerri often writes on her Catholic faith, pregnancy loss, her kids, being a working mom, and pro-life issues. Kerri enjoys her job as a music librarian at a local university, was a musician for over 20 years, loves taking her kids to the library (and loves that they love it), is passionately pro-life, can’t cook, and has lived in six states. In additional to writing at Catholic Sistas you can also find Kerri on her own blog at Journal of a Nobody.