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POLL: 98% Of Non-Mass Going Women Who Identify Themselves As Catholic Contracept – Where Do The Faithful Fall In Line?

 

>>>>SURVEY MONKEY POLL<<<<

UPDATE: The poll is officially closed now that we have reached 1000 surveys in 17 hours, thanks to your help and participation. The results can be found HERE live at 1 p.m. CST, February 15. 

If you’ve seen the lovely gems floating around the internet here and here stating that 98% of Catholic women contracept, you probably have bruises on your chin from picking it up off the floor.

While we would never suggest that some women have fallen into the contraception mentality, we want to take a moment to get an honest poll going about Catholic women. The poll will reflect how these numbers get skewed. When you poll non-Mass going Catholic women who don’t have a firm stake {or understanding} in the Faith, can we really be surprised that the contraception numbers are 98%??

And further, do these statistics even change what the Church teaches on the matter?

The administration would have you think so…98% of Catholic women contracept, therefore the Catholic Church’s teaching is wrong is what they are trying to tell us. 

So, to combat the obvious slant in the polling sample, I thought we would try something that at least attempts to gather honest information. Ya know…just for grins.

We created a poll to hear the voices of ALL Catholic women, not just non-Mass goers. Please visit the link at the top of the post to participate. Also, please help us spread the word about this poll by spreading it to Catholic friends and family, online communities and on your Facebook page. The poll will be open about a week and the results will be posted when it closes.

Did you enjoy this article? Sign up now!

About Martina Kreitzer

I am a 30-something stay-at-home mom to six kiddos, 4/96 through 6/12. We recently decided to homeschool after many years in public school. In my "spare time," I served as the chairperson for the Pastoral Council at my home parish from 2010-2013. I currently help with our Adult Faith Formation program, from the planning committee to facilitating and mentoring incoming facilitators. I also enjoy photography as a hobby. I enjoy talking about all things Catholic and always look to infuse a little bit of humor whenever possible.

February 13, 2012 - 8:54 pm

Jennifer - Two additional questions might be:
– Did you ever contracept?
– If yes, did you attend weekly Mass when you were contracepting? OR
– Would you have described yourself as a faithful Catholic when you used contraception?

I can’t wait to see how your survey turns out. I’ll be sharing.

February 13, 2012 - 9:01 pm

Tracy Bua Smith - Great survey! I just filled out my answers! :)
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February 13, 2012 - 9:04 pm

Martina - I agree Jennifer! We had to sort of cut it down to general questions to start, but believe me, those questions you ask were definitely in the beginning phases of our polling process.

I hope that we can do a separate, more in-depth poll that delves into those questions because I think they are completely valid and lend themselves to understanding better the contraceptive mentality. :)

I appreciate your comment, but I am going to bed and will not be moderating comments until the a.m. so if new folks post comments, please understand I will be busy looking at the back of my eyelids. Thems pretty this time of day. ;)
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February 13, 2012 - 9:51 pm

Karen - I am the Youth Minister and DRE for our Catholic Church. I find it amazing how little “Catholics” know or understand about their own faith. I’d expect the survey results from non-Mass going Catholics. As a craddle Catholic, I must add that there was a terrible lack of Catholic education with respect to the depths of the hows and whys concerning our beliefs over the past 30 years. Something was, and still is, missing in how our fellow Catholics truly learn about their faith. Because we are not a “FEEL GOOD” based faith, but rather rooted in tradition and truths, it is SO important to help ALL Catholics get a better grip on their faith.
We are blessed here with a “teaching Priest” who has no fear in teaching the truths of the church, regardless of the naysayers in the pews, and he also has a deep rooted desire to help our parishioners understand the WHYS which haven’t been made clear in the past. Please continue to pray for GOOD PRIESTS.

February 13, 2012 - 10:45 pm

BirgitJ - I love that you created this survey. There is, however, a suggestion or two I’d like to add.

1) It might be useful to see an option for those who do not use any form of family planning at all – leaving it to God’s nature.

2) I’d also like to see a question about the catechesis that participants received.

Case in point: when my husband and I first married (1974) we were not made aware of Church teaching against birth control, even though we went through several marriage classes with our priest, as a couple. Later, after becoming informed, we chose to just let nature take its course. In the 1950’s, my mother was actually advised to use contraception by a priest, when she told him that her first husband was abusive. After her annulment and subsequent remarriage, she relied on the rhythm method. In both of these situations, culpability would certainly be less than for those who willingly live against a fully comprehended Church teaching.

I find it disheartening that education has been so poorly implemented. These are the fruits we are reaping now. On the other hand, there is much hope for the future. I am seeing more and more effort on the part of diocesan Pre-Cana courses to fully inform couples during their preparation for marriage. My married children also had much more education prior to their marriages. As a member of our Gospel of Life Committee, we are also making an effort to push this agenda. God bless!
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February 13, 2012 - 10:49 pm

Jessica Saddleson - Awesome survey. :)

February 13, 2012 - 10:52 pm

Gin - I was not raised in the church I used BC methods for medical and non medical reasons as a teen. When we were first Married we attended sporadically not regularly we had young kids. I got pregnant with the oldest on the pill. I nursed him and got pregnant with my second 9 months later. I was pushed by doctors into getting an IUD shortly after I had my second so I did. I got pregnant with a child about 8 months into having that I lost the baby and nearly my Uterus from that pregnancy I was told I may never have more. After that I became renewed in my faith and learned NFP. I went on to have a little girl 3 years later. Since then I have been using NFP and no Family planning at all. I have gotten pregnant 2 times and lost both one was an etopic pregnancy. I have had Major female issues since then and have had difficulty conceiving and carrying babies to term. I strongly feel it is due to my prior contraceptive use.

February 14, 2012 - 6:43 am

Janine - I love the “non-Mass-going Catholic women” part. Isn’t that kind of like “meat-eating vegetarians”? Can they really be considered Catholic if they don’t even bother to fulfill the most basic obligation? Anyway, I’ll spread the survey around — I’m very interested in the results.

February 14, 2012 - 7:57 am

Betty - Alright. So im here due to fallowing a link on a friends FB page. I am a non mass going conterseption wearing woman whos the proud owner of three children. I was advised by my doctor to start taking Birth control pills to lesson cramping dureing Menstration(this could have just been his way of saying STOP having children). I was completely unaware that this was an issue within the church and was wondering if someone could break it down for me. I understand that its “messing” with gods plans. but is that it? Is that the reason?

February 14, 2012 - 10:05 am

Jan - I married late in life a Catholic so contraception never entered my mind. At the time of my marriage in 2005 (60 years old) I converted to Catholic. I love being Catholic and believe in my heart I was always Catholic. My community is predominately Catholic. They all vote for Obama.

I realize that voting is a private right, but I truely do not understand how people can vote for abortion which is the same as voting for Obama and many other democrats. I believe the reason why this administration is pushing contraceptives is two fold: One population control and two to destroy the church and yet we the Catholics still vote Democrat.

I had three visions and the third vision was a spirit protecting me from the Smoke of Satan. Smoke of Satan is a term coined by Pope John Paul the II stating that many Catholics are like pew sitters. They go to church every Sunday and then they live their life as they wish not according to their Catholic Faith. I think this is an important message and should cause people to re-think their Catholic faith. Personally, if you believe in all of these political platforms then you are not a Catholic and leading the way to the destruction of the Catholic Church. People need to really think about what they are doing.

My Priest is from Poland and lived under Hitler and be believes that this is where we are gonig. He said that the same changes that are happening in our country now are the same changes that happened in Poland that led to Hitler.

I am truely not making judgements upon people but trying to provide serious food for thinking about what we are doing and where it is leading us to. God is a forgiving God but there are limits.

If one truely believes in the democratic platform then the Evangelical Lutheran Church would be a good church to go to. They even voted to change the bible so it goes along with their way of thinking for abortion, for contraception, euthanasia, homosexual marriages even between ministers in the Lutheran faith. There are options without destroying the Catholic Church for those who really believe.

God Bless you and forgive me if I have offended you. But the time to get serious is now before it is too late.

Jan

February 14, 2012 - 10:08 am

Jane - Watch how that statistic is phrased when it’s used, though. 98% of Catholic women have contracepted during their lifetime.

That means if a woman used the Pill until she converted to Catholicism and then stopped, you would be counted into their total.

If a woman used a condom during a fling at age sixteen and later on got married and used NFP for the rest of her life, she counts.

If a woman has a crisis of faith and uses an IUD for six months, and then has it removed because she feels bad about it, she still counts.

If a teen is prescribed the Pill for acne but discontinues it and later on goes on to live a chaste life and become a nun, she is counted in that statistic.

Yes, if you widen the net enough, you can figure out how to make it look as if EVERYONE is using contraception, but is that a reasonable statistic?

What they need is a statistic about how many Mass-going Catholic women of childbearing age are *currently* using contraception. Which I would guess is still going to be about 80%, but it’s not 98%.
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February 14, 2012 - 10:10 am

Melanie - Polls are not always so easy. I had to put “past childbearing age” though I am still ovulating because an emergency hysterectomy obviously left me unable to have more children. However, with a uterus, I could still possibly conceive….

February 14, 2012 - 10:14 am

Jan - Martina: I commend you for homeschooling. I have worked very diligently in the schools as a volunteer. I had told my boys that they are going to have to homeschool when they have children. Even in relgious schools you will need to be involved. there is a huge indoctrination going on by teachers and others to change our values that we teach to children. Also there is a move to ostracize children, etc. My one son was ostracized. The others that this teacher ostracized ended up in prison. I could not undo the damage that this steacher did but to stress him the importance of not letting her win. All the time I said do not let her win. He failed his way thru highschool and the first two years of college but I still kept saying you cannot let her win. Finally he graducated magnum cum lade from a major University and he is very happy. We cannot trust anyone with full control of our children any more. Society has changed and it is not good.

February 14, 2012 - 10:33 am

John G. - Do 98% of Catholics use contraception? Maybe. I’d love to see these poll results. But the truth is I do not think it matters what the actual percentage is. We are all sinners, we make mistakes, sometimes out of ignorance and sometimes we make mistakes knowingly year after year for the majority of our adult lives. God loves us no less for it and is eager to forgive. I believe this to be true.

However, the Official Teachings of the Church remain the Official Teachings of the Church whether or not 98% of us disobey them. There was a time when many of our ancestors owned slaves and went to church with a clear conscience because “98%” of everyone else owned slaves as well. Did that make owning slaves any less wrong? I do not think the question should be how many of us are disobeying the teachings of the Church, the question as I see it is this: Am I truly Catholic?

As a matter of faith; if we call ourselves Catholic then we believe in the teachings of the Church and we obey them as best we can. Otherwise we are like a customer at Shoney’s Buffet picking only the food that suits our appetites and rejecting the rest. In my house if we do not like what is being served for dinner we are always welcome to leave the table. The same holds true for all of us, we are always welcome to leave the table. That is the foundation of God’s love for us, we can say “no” to God. We are free to do so. And to sweeten the deal, we are always welcome back at the Table of the Lord, as many times as it takes for us to finally turn away from the Buffet and to welcome Christ into our hearts, fully; trusting His own promise that he will feed us with the only food that will truly satisfy our hunger. However, we cannot be both at the table and away from the table at the same time. We have to choose. We cannot be both Catholic and disobey Catholicism.

Being Catholic is not like being Asian, Hispanic or Caucasian (etc…). We are not born Catholic. Being Catholic is a choice we make every moment of every day of our lives. We practice being Catholic. It is the soul’s profession, designed to save our otherwise doomed existence and prepare it for eternal life with Christ. Consider the surgeon. Can I declare that I was born a surgeon and go at it picking and choosing the medical guidelines I wish to follow? Can I disobey some of those guidelines as I see fit, like not washing my hands or obtaining a surgeon’s license? No. I will certainly fail and cause injury or worse to those around me. So it is with being Catholic. If I do not strive to go to Mass every week and on Holy Days, if I do not strive to believe in all the declarations in the Apostle’s Creed, if I do not strive to believe in the teachings of the Church and do not love the Church I am not Catholic.

If you are aware of the teachings of the Church and describe yourself as Catholic but at same time you are open minded about abortion and/or contraception and/or a whole slew of other pop-culture practices which fall short of the teachings of the Holy Catholic Church, you are not Catholic.

Being Catholic takes courage and humility; forgiveness and compassion; patience and piety and a whole slew of other virtues; virtues which all Catholics strive to perfect but few ever do. It is for most of us an impossible life but for the grace and mercy that flows freely from the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Additionally though, being Catholic requires obedience to the teachings of the one Church Christ himself founded. It is not a democracy. The only freedom available in regards to the teachings of the Catholic Church is to believe in them or to walk away from them.

Using contraception does not undo your Catholicism, believing in your heart that contraception is ok does. Missing Mass does not undo your Catholicism; believing in your heart that you do not need to go to Mass does. Losing faith does not undo your Catholicism; believing in your heart that it is not necessary to persevere in your faith does.

We are able convince ourselves that we can have it both ways as it seems 98% of us do. But we are either at the table or we are not. We are either Catholic or we are not.

February 14, 2012 - 10:38 am

Jessica - You should include withdrawal in your survey.

February 14, 2012 - 10:43 am

Anne - I think I accidentally clicked the wrong age group when I took the survey (I honestly keep thinking that I’m still 24!). Anyway, I’m 26, attend Mass weekly + holy days, married, and use Marquette.

February 14, 2012 - 11:23 am

Jessica L - Withdrawal is not approved by the Church.

February 14, 2012 - 11:47 am

Lisa - I don’t think the poll does justice for someone in my situation. I am a Catholic convert, and I have only been aware and deeply observant of the Church’s teachings and traditions for the past three years. When I was still Protestant and before I had done any research, we decided that one of us would be sterilized. I have regretted this choice before and ever since my conversion. I also recognized the symptoms of this fateful choice in our marriage when I lost most of my desire for intimacy – after the surgery and before my conversion I knew on some level the choice was tragically wrong – because I now considered sex pointless and meaningless. I would give nearly anything to take back that awful decision and to have added a few more children to our family.

February 14, 2012 - 1:14 pm

Jennifer - I am an almost 29 (29 in 2 weeks) yr old virgin. I am a very devout Catholic. I also have been diagnosed with PCOS which stems from a diabetic condition creating unbalanced hormones. This results in very uncomfortable menstruation. I think you’ll find a lot of girls these days probably have painful periods and their doctors put them on birth control to “correct” the problem. My gyno tried to do this with me as well, but I didn’t go for it. I had him run some blood tests which diagnosed the PCOS. I had either the option of taking birth control to ease the pain during menstruation or take a medicine for the diabetic issue which ultimately would correct the problem instead of bandaid it. I think more parents and young girls/women need to stop and ask themselves what’s really the problem and try to figure it out before just letting a doctor put them or their children on birth control.

February 14, 2012 - 1:15 pm

Margie Stump - I didn’t want to not be counted as a user of NFP just because I’m now past my fertile years, so I typed a note into the “other” field. We used the Sympto-Thermal Method taught by the Couple to Couple League. We met when I was 30, married when I was 31, had our 1st child when I was 32, and our 4th & last child when I was 41. We would have had more, but ran out of fertile years since we had met a little later in life!

February 14, 2012 - 1:54 pm

Michelle - From what I gathered from an article exposing the lie of the 98% figure, the criteria for being included in the numbers seemed to remove a large percentage of Catholic women from consideration: those not sexually active (chaste single women and widows), those under 15 and over 44 (what about those of us still fertile at 50+), those currently pregnant or postpartum (no definition of postpartum) and those trying to become pregnant. Even with all those excluded the bar graph showed 11% use no method, 2% use NFP, 4% use other, 15% use condoms, 5% use IUD’s, 32% use “the pill”, and 31% are sterilized. This does not add up to 98% using contraception! Even after questionable criteria and only 30% of the Catholics being weekly mass attendees they lied about the numbers!

February 14, 2012 - 3:15 pm

Mary Therese - Betty, You asked what the Catholic Church teaches in regard to Family Planning the shortest sentence is from Humanae Vitae # 11
” Each and every marital act must of necessity retain its intrinsic relationship to the procreation of human life.”
Biologically every act of intercourse can not result in pregnancy as a couple is only fertile about 6-9 days in a cycle. Thus NFP helps them discern this time. Our Choice as Responsible Parents is then to Act or not Act. Once we Act the choice is then up to God if there shall be another child in our arms. The teachings of the Church are very beautiful and not hard to read. God Bless you !

February 14, 2012 - 4:18 pm

K - I am a 39-year-old cradle, Catholic-university-educated, contracepting, Mass-attending Catholic. I belong to a Familia group of 33 other Mass-attending women ranging in age from 24 to 50 (all are mothers). We did our own anonymous poll on contraception and it was 100% positive. All of us either use or did use contraception. 2 of the 34 used NFP only, but on a regular basis. The rest of us use other methods. I am NFP and Creighton certified and found it unreliable. Due to other significant medical issues on my part, my husband had a vasectomy after our fourth child. My grandmother (truly one of the most devout women I’ve ever known) was born in 1911 and handed me a package of condoms on the eve of my wedding. She said, “When priests get married, THEN they can give us advice about having babies.” I was shocked at the time but now couldn’t agree more. The church is just wrong on this issue. If my priest stood up and said that anyone using birth control had to leave the church, I bet 75% of the congregation of child-bearing age would get up and go.

February 14, 2012 - 4:51 pm

Martina - K,

I appreciate your honesty, but I want to throw out a few nuggets for you to consider.

1) **I am NFP and Creighton certified and found it unreliable.** – Do you mind my asking where you learned and in which state? Also, when? I know of several Creighton instructors who would completely disagree, two of whom studied under Dr. Hilgers. I’m sure you know who he is.

2) 34 women who contracept still does not make right something you think is wrong.

3) **My grandmother (truly one of the most devout women I’ve ever known) was born in 1911 and handed me a package of condoms on the eve of my wedding. She said, “When priests get married, THEN they can give us advice about having babies.” I was shocked at the time but now couldn’t agree more.** I’m always hesitant to call anyone devout, particularly when they give advice or comment about anything that is in direct opposition to Church teaching, but I understand that you held her in high regard. I did with my grandparents, too, who were born in 1909 and 1907. My love for them doesn’t cloud the fact that they were still human and prone to error in judgment. Just because family members who we hold in high esteem make mistakes does not change the fact that the Church teaches what it teaches.

4) **The church is just wrong on this issue. If my priest stood up and said that anyone using birth control had to leave the church, I bet 75% of the congregation of child-bearing age would get up and go.** And your point would be what, exactly? So people would get up and leave. Let me ask you this -do you understand the foundational teaching of *WHY* the Church teaches that contraception is intrinsically evil or do you ONLY see it as something that “oppresses women.” I ask because your mindset is pretty much commonplace with women who don’t truly understand why the teaching exists in the first place. How can you be sorry for something that you know is wrong if you don’t know WHY it’s wrong? So…I would like you to tell me what you know to be true about Church teaching on contraception that you have learned from genuine study.

5) **I am a 39-year-old cradle, Catholic-university-educated, contracepting, Mass-attending Catholic. I belong to a Familia group of 33 other Mass-attending women ranging in age from 24 to 50 (all are mothers). We did our own anonymous poll on contraception and it was 100% positive.** This just shows me that we have a LOT of work to do with properly educating Catholic women about contraception. I am never impressed when people spout off their long-list of Catholic “education” only to launch into their dissent. I think we can do better than that.

February 14, 2012 - 5:04 pm

Michelle - Betty, artificial birth control takes God out of the equation when we are supposed to turn our lives over to Him but in addition to this the way the pill or an IUD works is to make the uterus hostile so that a baby can not implant should a woman’s egg become fertilized (thus resulting in a baby). It works to prevent ovulation but in the case that this fails and ovulation occurs it prevents the baby from implanting, causing an abortion. Life is sacred in the eyes of the Church from natural beginning (conception) to natural death. When we take birth control pills or have an IUD we can’t be certain in the way it is working within us, thus, each month we risk aborting a baby.

I hope you are able to find a way to help your problems during menstration that will not put you at risk for aborting a baby. (((HUGS))) to you.

February 14, 2012 - 5:30 pm

Mary - K,
Do you have some reasoning for why you so boldly assert “the church (sic) is just wrong on this issue”? I mean, other than the fact that you unfortunately do not know anyone who follows Church teaching? I honestly would like to know why you think that you and your devout grandma and your 33 friends who are contracepting are wiser than a 2000 year old Church, with countless SAINTS (much holier and more knowledgeable than my devout grandma, for sure) who stood up (and sometimes DIED) for every last one of the Church’s teachings, without ever picking and choosing which ones they believed in. I know that sounds snarky but I am not trying to be snarky – rather I’d honestly like you to consider what you are saying, and perhaps explain your thought process to the rest of us.

The teaching on birth control is not about some priests who can’t get married telling us what to do with our bodies. It is about those priests, who have given to their lives to Christ, passing on the message of Christ himself, as he revealed it to his beloved Bride, the Church. They are mere messengers, and their marital stats is completely irrelevant. In fact, in some ways it is helpful that they can’t get married and have no temptation to contracept, because then they can see the issue clearly instead of letting their passions and their biases get in the way. I think an objective adviser is a good thing for many reasons.

I pray that you will see the error of your thinking and your behavior before it is too late. When you are standing before Jesus at the end of your life, the excuse that “my devout grandma said it was okay” or “everyone else was doing it” simply won’t cut it.

February 14, 2012 - 6:50 pm

Charla - I always shake my head when I hear Catholics saying that there is a problem with NFP being unreliable. Two points. When it has to work -it does. My SIL had brain cancer and they have used it for two decades perfectly because she is on drugs that would harm a baby. They are precise about it. The other is, the point of using NFP as a Catholic is remaining open to life, to leaving a door open to God, to NOT be as reliable as birth control sometimes because God wants to do something special for you.

February 14, 2012 - 6:51 pm

AnnMarie - Regarding K’s comments: Jesus said, “Follow me.” He didn’t say, “Follow me when it’s convenient to follow me.” or “Follow me in mostly everything except the stuff that’s really hard.” Bottom line is, until the 1930’s EVERY Christian denomination considered artificial birth control a grave evil until the Lambeth Conference, when the Anglican Church caved in. Other denominations soon followed suit. The Catholic Church has not waffled on the Truth. Catholics need to be either all in or all out. There is no in-between. The Church is NOT a democracy where we go by popular vote. It was and always will be guided by the Holy Spirit. The Church has no authority to change her stance on birth control because the Holy Spirit has spoken regarding this, all the way back to the Didache, which was the very first Catechism of the Catholic Church in the 1st Century. Martyrs died for our faith. They shed their blood because they would not change their beliefs. Those Catholics who remain steadfast to Church teaching honor their sacrifice and Christ’s.

February 14, 2012 - 7:58 pm

Kristy - I have long been fascinated by this trend. I, too, came up with a survery to try to understand the thouhgt process of contracepting/sterilizing Catholics, however, I didn’t have a good venue of delivery to share it and I chickened out on giving it to friends. It is very in depth and focuses on how a given respondant was educated in the church and why they feel they have a choice on the matter. It is very in depth. I would be very happy to share it with you if it would be something you could use in the wider electronic community. I just don’t have the readership! Let me know if you want it and how to get it to you, and I can send. You could even use mine as just a resource to create your own. I really look forward to reading your results!

Signed, an NFP family for over 14 years. : )

February 14, 2012 - 8:04 pm

Melanie - It is unfortunate when people base their behavior on what other people are doing. I always tell my children that God does not grade on a curve, He holds us all to the same high standard and does not consider that we might be “less sinful” than the person next to us. And He certainly does not entertain the idea that “everyone” doing something makes it OK. All the Israelites were pretty gung ho to worship the golden calf, I mean, everyone was doing it, so it was OK, wasn’t it? God’s law doesn’t change to fit the times or human inclinations. We have to change ourselves to fit God’s law. I admit I fail every single day…but I do not reject the Church’s teachings because they fail to “keep up with the times.”

February 14, 2012 - 8:55 pm

Karen - I used to think the way K did…several years ago I believed the Church was wrong, I knew better. It requires personal growth and trust in Jesus to understand that His Church has the ultimate authority, and when they are telling you “that’s wrong,” that is it; it’s wrong. Period. End of story. To say the Church is wrong indicates a lack of trust in Jesus and the fullness of his Truth and his creation of the Church.

February 14, 2012 - 8:56 pm

Leticia Adams - K,

Hi! I haven’t read any of the comments other than your original comment.

I was wondering if I could ask you some questions just so I can get a feel about what you are talking about.

Let me tell you a little about me and my family. My grandmother was similar to that. And not only that but after my fourth child with my drug addict ex husband, all my aunts and my mother (all who where what they considered devout Catholic) talked me into get my tubes tied. I did it ,even though I did not necessarily want to. Not because I was Catholic (which I considered myself, even though I had NO idea what the teachings of the Church were on the subject.) but because I just felt it was not ok. I didn’t have the words or knowledge to really say what it was that I thought wasn’t ok, but it just seemed wrong. So wrong that I found myself spiral out of control afterwards. A few years later when I found out the my ex husband who hadn’t been “fixed” had gotten another woman pregnant I remember thinking how unfair that was. How unfair it was that I had made myself barren and he was still able to have children. It had nothing to do with being Catholic though.

I spent the next however many years after my tubes being tied having sex with all kinds of men. I was the town slut from the age of 14, and I continued that legacy until I was 33 when I walked into a Catholic Parish that taught me about WHO Jesus is. Being a devout Catholic means nothing without having a relationship with Jesus. For a minute I thought maybe I was in a Protestant church and I wasn’t going to get my sacraments. LOL. but it was a Catholic parish and that is where I met Jesus for the 2nd time in my life and when I actually handed Him my life. Including my sex life.

I read part of John Paul II’s writings on sex and relationships and I was SHOCKED to see that he said (even before becoming Pope) that sexual attraction to the opposite sex is natural. Whaaaa??? I had always been taught that if you even thought of sex you were a slut. So this was shocking to me. But the last few years have taught me God’s plan for sex. I read a really good book on the subject called “Holy Sex” by Gregory K. Popcak PhD. And it opened my eyes to the true teaching of the Catholic Church on sex and it was nothing like what I had heard from my whole family that were devout Catholics since I was born.

I have been were you are, I have been in a place were everything I’ve ever known is being questioned. The people I love that I know to be devout Catholics vs what “crazy nut job ” Catholics are saying on the subject of sex and birth control.

Let me just tell you this, I have never know peace the way I now know peace. It is a peace that comes with having a relationship with Jesus and knowing that in His love and Mercy he left a Church with the Authority to speak on His behalf on this Earth. If Jesus was standing in front of you telling you your grandmother was wrong, would you dismiss Him to his face? What is lacking in a lot of cultures is the connection to Jesus’s commandments and Church Teachings. Many people do not understand that they are one in the same. I was one of them. Most of my family are that kind of people still to this day. I pray for them. I work hard to love them, to witness to them, to laugh with them, and to live my faith for them.

Please feel free to email me, and I would be happy to have a conversation with you. :) [email protected]

God Bless. (sorry this is so long.)
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February 14, 2012 - 8:59 pm

Leticia Adams - K,

HAHA! I never asked you my questions!

1.) Are you Hispanic?
2.) By certified, do you mean you were a student or a teacher?
3.) What is your favorite Ice Cream

(hahaha Just added the last one to break the ice. :) )

February 15, 2012 - 6:17 am

K - Look – I was not trying to get into a debate with any of you, just adding information into your poll circle (led here by a FB post) because the poll was closed by the time I got here. I think your poll might be skewed because you are all ultraconservative catholics and probably the “circle” of your poll demographic will start with others of the same mindset. Which is fine for you! Faith is just that – faith. While you all seem to find many absolutes in your faith, I find mostly questions. And there is no point in us debating because I believe what I believe just as strongly as you believe what you believe.

To answer the questions – We went to NFP training in Dayton, Ohio, which is also where I started learning the Creighton Model. We then moved to Indiana and Virginia, where I finished the program. I am certified in that I completed the program. I have a certificate. :) I am not Hispanic. And I have only been with one man, my husband, in my life, as I think some of you were questioning my chastity up there.

I think it must indeed be a very peaceful way of life to accept without question all that the church heirarchy says and good for you! And now, since I seem to have stepped into a wasps’ nest unintentionally, I shall return to my more progressive corner of the church and let you all be. And I’ll be sure to avoid the links to this page in the future. It will be interesting to see what happens in the church over the next century or two.

February 15, 2012 - 8:46 am

Marie - K~

I would encourage you to read some of my posts on this blog (especially this one: http://www.catholicsistas.com/2011/10/07/life-begins-at-conception/).

I don’t think that ANY of the writers on this blog “accept without question all that the church heirarchy says” (to use your EXACT words). If there are some of the writers who do then GOOD FOR THEM. I admire them for it and they’re stronger than I am. I am a scientist by nature. I question things. I have to figure out the WHY certain things happen or must be so.

I have been on Birth Control (pills) several times in my life. In fact I’m completely 100% convinced that it was my use of Birth Control Pills that caused my infertility because my body lost it’s ability to regulate it’s own hormones. Unlike Jennifer above I don’t have PCOS, but I know A LOT of people who do. Birth Control pills are used in the same way that a “band-aid” is. “Let’s throw these hormones at the problem and see if that fixes it.”

I’m sorry that you found Creighton to be so unreliable that you felt that the only way that you could control your fertility was for your husband to get “fixed.” Rather than trying to consult with a trained INSTRUCTOR who could advise you to possibly venture in to cross-checking using another method you went ahead and permanently destroyed your husband’s fertility. What a shame! When my cycles (I’m also Creighton “certified” – although I prefer the word “taught”) became unreliable I called my instructor and she recommended that I start temping. All of our body’s abilities to determine if we’re fertile or not ARE THERE – but we have to be willing to look for them.

Getting back to your comment about going to the “more progressive corner of the church” — I would challenge you to READ about why the church teaches certain things (especially in regards to birth control) and don’t just educate yourself by talking to others. Take the time to learn about why.

As I said in the post that I copied & pasted in to this comment…. the church doesn’t just *develop policies* out of the air. The church teaches us and instructs us all out of love.

I really hope that you take the time to reflect on what I’ve said.
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February 15, 2012 - 8:48 am

Martina - Nope, you definitely did not step into a hornet’s nest. I do think you have to reasonably expect to be challenged if you hold views that are diametrically opposed to Church teaching, though.

What’s interesting is that folks who hold these views usually think of themselves as a unique variety. That somehow, people like us {which I laugh at the “ultraconservative Catholics”} are somehow living a peaceful way of life because we accept without question what the Church teaches.

I think that’s a pretty backwards way of looking at it and again, I will issue the same challenge I delivered in my first post to you. If you think you are alone in your mindset, I can personally assure you that myself and many, if not MOST of my friends struggled at some point in our lives and lived the Faith according to how you currently embrace it.

The difference is that at some point, we found our way of living the Faith to be void of something…so we searched. I know for myself, I am not “peaceful” about accepting what the Church teaches. That internal struggle will always be there. But there is a *line* of culpability that I refuse to cross. My internal struggle does not mean that I have the authority to tell others that Church teaching is wrong. That not only endangers MY soul, but the souls I have decided to lead down the path AWAY from the Church.

I really wish there was some way for you to understand this. And that may not happen from this conversation. The timeline isn’t up to me in the first place, but if I may just continue to issue the challenge that you hold some pretty negative views against people who uphold the teachings of the Church in SPITE of their own failings, then maybe you can start to see your own personal views of the Church to be flawed, too.

So…I hope you are challenged to NOT be satisfied with where you are in your faith walk…and I hope that I can impress up on you and convince you that none who follow the Church obediently {in spite of personal struggle} are satisfied with their faith walk either. It’s when we become complacent and “satisfied” that we give Satan the tools to dismantle our faith.
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February 15, 2012 - 9:08 am

John G. - Don’t sweat it K. We are all in this together. But keep this in mind; “ultra-conservative” and “progressive” labels are not really relevant here. The question is simple, are you following the rules or not?

For example, no matter how stupid I think it is to drive 25 MPH down a 4 lane road near where I live, and thus drive 30 MPH+, I’m breaking the rules. Everyone drives faster than 25 MPH on this road; at least 98% do (LOL). It doesn’t change the facts though, I am breaking the rules. I’m great at convincing myself that I’m justified in going 30 MPH (Darn those ultra-conservative law makers, grrr!!!), but I am not justified. It is just plain and simple rule breaking.

You can declare the church is wrong, but you cannot say you are a faithful Catholic any more than I can say I am a law abiding driver. Be progressive, use contraceptives, but be honest. You’re breaking the rules just like me, plain and simple.

February 15, 2012 - 9:13 am

Marie - K~

Just thought of something….

You mentioned that you have 4 children.

When your children follow the instructions you give them are they (sorry, I don’t know if they’re boys or girls) “accept without question all that the heirarchy (you, the parent) says”…. or when they’re disobedient and don’t clean their room no matter HOW MANY TIMES YOU’VE TOLD THEM are they simply being “progressive”?

Think about it.
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February 15, 2012 - 9:35 am

Leticia - K,

You should read my blog. I questioned everything. I am sterilized so is my husband. I have been with more men than I can count and I’m a convert, so i came to where I am by not shutting myself off from the Truth. It had nothing to do with being Catholic for me, it had to do with me wanting to know what the Truth was.

I know it’s hard to have a conversation with so many ppl on one side of the issue vs your side. But a lot of us have been where you are, not knowing not understanding, and not being open to the teachings of the Church.

I gave you my email address in case you would like to have a one on one conversation on the subject. I was very much set in my views, so I did a lot of reading on the subject. :)

Have a good day.

February 15, 2012 - 10:45 am

Shirley - I wish the poll were still open.

February 15, 2012 - 11:48 am

WEDNESDAY MID-DAY EXTRA | ThePulp.it - […] 98% Of Non-Mass Going Catholic Women Contracept – Martina, Catholic Sistas […]

February 15, 2012 - 6:44 pm

India - Hello all and hello K! K, I must commend you on your honesty. I believe what you stated originally is true.

I am single and celibate but I have friends who are married and do go to mass, and several of them have husbands who have had vasectomies. I know some others who are on the pill. I am not condoning this behavior, I am just stating based on my own experience I know several Catholic women who use artificial birth control. I think the Church does need to do a better job with education on this doctrine and all the doctrines of the church.

March 5, 2012 - 4:24 am

Raymond - I am an American of the Jewish Faith. I think anti-Catholicism is the last acceptable rgtoiby. And it is one that needs to be combated by your Jewish brethren. It is our obligation to do so. One more thing we do not all agree with the extreme ADL, and its meddling into the internal affairs of the Church. I for one lost half of my great aunts and uncles on my mother’s side, and my great grandmother in the holocaust. The Catholic Church and Pope Pius did much to save Jewish lives and certainly much more than President Roosevelt did, but this is another matter. I have very positive memories about interaction with Catholic clergy members in my lifetime. Perhaps growing up in ecumenical New York made a difference, but one of my first memories is being taken to see the movie the Ten Commandments as a five year old, and meeting a group of Nuns in line behind my parents who were very nice to me. I remember telling them about the Exodus story and they were all smiles.. And in college, I became good friends with Father Richard on campus who became a close personal friend. I also remember the opening of our Synaogue on Long island in the 1970 s, and the local Priest coming to our opening service, being on stage with the Rabbi, and handing us a rather large donation from the Church to us to welcome us into the area. So please, a defense of the Church from Jews needs to be seen as the norm and nothing remarkable. Thanks for reading

March 29, 2012 - 3:04 am

Charlotte - Hello there, Having faith,perhaps is the greatest assurance off all faith not only in the strange working of universe, but in yourself. Have faith that you are strong, capable, deserving an wise. Have faith that roadblocks are often steppingstones in clever disguise and that exactly where you mean to be, no matter how difficult it may be to believe at any given moment. Faith that however painful it may seem at times, you are over coming truths of immeasurable worth. Most of all have faith that you are headed in the right direction and that at the end of every storm, you will find waiting for your purpose, meaning, answers, and light. keep me posted.
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March 30, 2012 - 11:51 pm

Jer Marie - Using contraceptives doesn’t mean you are unfaithful to GOD. It is just the way a person is doing her/his duty, that is, to be a responsible individual by avoiding unwanted pregnancy….. The one you have to survey is how to condemn individuals who practice abortion……………
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April 25, 2012 - 12:47 am

Michelle - Hello… I am not against using contraceptives. Why? Every individual has there own rights, so what if they want to use contraceptives?? At least they won’t have another baby to kill.
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April 25, 2012 - 1:33 am

Mae - I am a believer and a follower of Christianity. For me, we should not use any form of contraceptives, it is part of our church upbringing, and it is a way of killing the life that should be form.
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April 25, 2012 - 9:37 am

Martina - Michelle,

I would challenge – where is the Church in that assessment of contraception use? Certainly we have shared in many posts and articles what the Church teaches with respect to not only contraception, but being open to life.

If you believe that contraception does not kill a life, I beg you to reconsider what you think to be true about that. Not only that, let’s go one step further and consider what contraception means – it is not a free, total, faithful and fruitful giving of oneself to their spouse. Contraception robs the marital act of being what God intends.

I offer you this article that contributor Stacy wrote just yesterday for your consideration. I would also challenge you to click around in our “respect life” section to read up more about it.

http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/04/24/why-contraception-will-never-be-permitted/
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